Columnists

ConCourt should find for the UDM
ConCourt should find for the UDM
I hope the Constitutional Court will hear the United Democratic Movement’s (UDM) case about whether the speaker of Parliament has, at the very...
SA’s democratic foundations shaken
SA’s democratic foundations shaken
An aspect of the groundswell against President Jacob Zuma’s looting ways has been bothering me. I could not quite figure out, until now, what...
Shuffling to a standstill: A Caucasian's protest
Shuffling to a standstill: A Caucasian's protest
Last week, axed Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan unashamedly called for mass mobilisation. Whether drunk or under the influence of a dagga, I’m...
Just how far can South Africa's courts reach?
Just how far can South Africa's courts reach?
The increasingly desperate shape of our politics means the courts are moving into ever more fraught territory. Over the past decade, as Parliament...
ANC, SACP must act with haste
ANC, SACP must act with haste
I suspect it is easier to find someone to claim, brazenly, that colonialism was not all that bad than it is to find someone willing to disagree...
The Gobble Rapture is imminent
The Gobble Rapture is imminent
“Damn him to the hottest fires of hell!” cries high priest Myxomatosis ecstatically, before crashing drunkenly off the platform provided.
Could the chief justice theft have anything to do with Ntlemeza, Dlamini defeats?
Could the chief justice theft have anything to do with Ntlemeza, Dlamini defeats?
In a democracy, it is not every day that two ministers of state are harshly but fairly criticised by the courts and, within 24 hours, 15 computers...
The last great colonialist says goodbye
The last great colonialist says goodbye
Helen Zille touches the tarmac of Cape Town International Airport with her toe as if to sense whether it is of colonial quality. Happy with the...
Morph your cucumber and win some gin
Morph your cucumber and win some gin
THE FIFTH COLUMNI got an email from Ster-Kinekor recently that made me feel a little unclean. I think it was meant to make me feel bigger,...
The making of Bathabile Dlamini
The making of Bathabile Dlamini
Minister Bathabile Dlamini is a hot political mess. She defies the Constitutional Court’s authority with no fear of political consequence. How...
State failed, not the Constitution
State failed, not the Constitution
Twenty years ago, South Africa’s democratically elected Parliament passed the Republic of South Africa Constitution Act. It was widely heralded...
Zuma, Dlamini piss on our Constitution
Zuma, Dlamini piss on our Constitution
President Jacob Zuma thinks we are idiots. After showing no leadership on the social grants mess that is still not properly resolved, he finally...
Tell-tale signs that life’s a glitch
Tell-tale signs that life’s a glitch
Over dinner the other night my girlfriend and I had a lively discussion on Elon Musk’s theory — which she believed to ring true —...
Beware the fake empathy of liberals
Beware the fake empathy of liberals
It must be nice being a bird. You get to chirp the whole day while sitting above the violence playing out on the streets below.
Fudge the future and feel better
Fudge the future and feel better
THE FIFTH COLUMNWe at the ministry of silly hats face the hardest task of the year: attending the annual corporate strategic futurological...

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