/ 24 February 2017

SA Twitter jokes about deadly Dineo

Close shave: Odd eyebrows and the pastor of Doom and other false prophets should have gone with Dineo.
Close shave: Odd eyebrows and the pastor of Doom and other false prophets should have gone with Dineo.

South Africans have reacted to the country’s brush with tropical cyclone Dineo with humour. While the storm was lashing Mozambique they used the hashtag #ThingsDineoShouldTakeWithHer to share jokes about Dineo.

Last week, the cyclone moved past Madagascar and into the Mozambique Channel before it hit parts of that country. Seven people died and more than 100 000 were affected. In Zimbabwe, Dineo caused severe flooding. People were evacuated by helicopter from the Tsholotsho district, where houses, bridges and crops were destroyed. Masvingo and Manicaland were also lashed. As Dineo passed through Botswana more than 200mm fell in some places. The storm fizzled out in Namibia.

South Africa experienced heavy rainfall and some flooding.

Hlume Dladla thought Dineo should have taken Nkandla, the homestead of South Africa’s president Jacob Zuma: “So Nkandla is safe? #Dineo please come back … ”

In 2014, a report by former public protector Thuli Madonsela found Zuma had unduly benefited from security upgrades to his Nkandla home, which cost tax payers about R250-million. He was asked to repay part of the money. The “security” upgrades included a cattle kraal.

James Sethogo reminded Twitter of this controversy, writing: “#ThingsDineoShouldTakeWithHer including the cattle.”

Kechane Neo wrote that Dineo should have made off with “people who constantly remind us that we’ve gained weight and that we need to lose it. TF???”

Another user would have liked 10% of South Africa’s population — the rotten 10% — to disappear. Just A Gamer @Tebza992 tweeted Dineo should have taken “Corrupt politicians, sure we’ll lose 10% of our population but it’ll be worth it. ”

Celebrity Queen B shared an image and quipped that Dineo was welcome to “people who shave off their eyebrows only to draw them back and mess it up like this #TSAon3.”

Tumie has had enough of the text message that informs mobile phone subscribers of the state of their internet data and suggested the cyclone should have made off with “the person who sends this SMS : “your data bundle has been depleted.”

Calven Lusenga observed Dineo was welcome to “people who talk to other people knowing very well that they didn’t even brush their teeth.”

Mohau, a student, suggested: “#ThingsDineoShouldTakeWithHer assignment deadlines.”

Posting a photo of the recent chaotic scenes at Zuma’s State of the Nation address in Parliament, Yoshani wrote that Dineo should have departed with “the guys that squeezed Juju’s balls.”

Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) leader Julius Malema and other EFF members were removed from Parliament for disrupting Zuma’s speech.

Kabelo tweeted a photograph, accompanied by a single word: “Doom”. The man in the picture was a controversial pastor, Lethebo Rabalago, who sprayed Doom in the faces of his congregants, claiming that he can heal people with his favoured brand of insecticide.

Echoing Kebelo’s sentiments, Mwilima wrote: “All the fake prophets, take them with Dinnie.”

Bizarre acts by South African “prophets” in recent years have included persuading congregants to eat grass and snakes and to drink petrol, which supposedly becomes pineapple juice after prayer.

And Andile tweeted that Dineo should have taken “people who tell their women not to wear waves & makeup then cheat on them with women who have waves & makeup”. — Globalvoices.org