From Veuve Cliquot to grappa, Limpopo to Liguria and nationalisation to sun-kissed beaches, the Cassel Mathale/Julius Malema bromance has gone on holiday.
Opposition parties in Limpopo are in a spin after half of the provincial cabinet embarked on Sunday on a “trade mission” to Italy, which coincidentally happens to be where ANC Youth League president Julius Malema is holidaying this week.
Given Juju’s and Mathale’s long BFF status, their trip is probably filled with scenes straight out of a Fellini movie: Tandem bicycle rides through luminous vineyards; shopping sprees in Milan; and joyrides around the countryside in a snazzy red Italian sports car. I can almost picture Math ala laughing as Malema does the mandatory “look at me holding up the Tower of Pisa!” photo shot.
However, when the M&G called him, Mathale’s spokesperson Phuti Mosomane crossed his heart and swore that Malema was not with the delegation. Mosomane said he and the rest of the Limpopo crew were on the lookout for “investment in mining and agriculture” in the Southern European nation.
But we know it’s hard work keeping a bromance alive. The premier of Limpopo and the firebrand youth leader have long had a coy friendship going on the side. If it’s not cooking together at Mothale’s Polokwane home, it’s concocting elaborate government tenders that never benefit either of them. Allegedly.
Yet there’s only so much bonding one can do amidst the sturm und drang of local politics. And hanging out at Montecasino in Fourways just doesn’t count as a Tuscan getaway for the truly discerning black diamond anymore.
So it was to Genoa that Mathale flew on Sunday, along with his wife and a smattering of mayors and provincial ministers, to discuss details of a friendship agreement with that city, according to Mosomane.
A friendship agreement with the Italians? No, NOT like the arms deal — where is your mind? Cassel and Juju, or Caju as I’ve taken to calling them, have a lot of real lessons to learn from the Italians— and it’s not just how to stage bunga bunga parties.
The leaning tower of sushi
Malema has probably worked out by now that the leaning tower of Pisa is not, in fact, made up of pizza. Stupid Italians — talk about missing a great opportunity. Never mind, Juju’s buddy Kenny Kunene will benefit from the ideas the Western imperialists have overlooked. If you’re a sushi model, be very afraid.
History revisited
But Cassel and Julius must be careful. Their names spark an eerie feeling of déjà vu in Italy. Remember that other Julius who would be king? He was stabbed in the back by a certain Cassius — along with the famous Brutus. I’m not suggesting Julius is staggering around a Roman square in a bloodied togo as we speak but — watch your friends closely Julius. You never know.
Ultimately this trip is about a moment in time: Julius on top of the world right now after his showstopper of an elective conference where he was re-elected unopposed, showing the ruling party whose boss. A bit of sun and fun for Caju between their plotting to take over the world? Now that’s Amore.