Jomo Cosmos midfielder Lucky Mhlathe is a proud dad to 14-month-old Nhlanhla. Mhlathe was so happy to have a son that he passed his name on to him. Nhlanhla is the Zulu word for Lucky.
Mhlathe visits his son every day and babysits after hours, at least twice a week. Nhlanhla lives with his mother at his grandparents’ home.
”I started taking him when he was about three months old and I started changing nappies then,” says Mhlathe. He visits his son before he goes to camp with his team and spends a full day with him to make up for Sunday if he has a game.
Mhlathe is not married yet, but he says that does not stop him from making time for his son. He says men who use this as an excuse not to see their children are just not committed enough.
Mhlathe is the first-born son of Frank Mhlathe, a policeman in Vereeniging. He says his father has always been a good dad: ”At a young age I knew who my father was and I loved every moment of it.” Mhlathe says his father used to take him to the soccer field whenever he went to practise, or for a game. ”He has a lot to do with me being a soccer player.” He says he still remembers that he and his father had their hair cut together.
Being a father has increased the love Mhlathe has for his own father. He has learned about the need for fathers to bond with their children. ”It’s perfect, you know you belong somewhere.” He says most of the things he is doing now were learnt from his father: ”By spending time with me, he taught me how to spend time with Nhlanhla.”
Mhlathe says he is still his father’s boy. ”He still considers me his son. He calls me his boy, nothing has changed.”
But fatherhood has not always been rosy for Mhlathe. His parents divorced when he was 18 and the relationship between him and his father soured. At home Mhlathe had to become a father figure.
Mhlathe’s story is common of the experiences of many South African families. But now a bold, new cultural intervention aims to shed light on the positive role fathers play in their children’s lives — using the work of the country’s finest photographers.
The child, youth and family development unit of the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC), the South African Men’s Forum (SAMF) and the Department of Social Development have teamed up to launch The Fatherhood Project Photographic Exhibition around the country.
The work on show has been taken by professional photographers, students and schoolchildren. The images show the connection between children and their fathers or brothers, uncles and grandfathers. In fact, any man who plays the role of father and makes a difference in a child’s life.
Well-known photographer Cedric Nunn, whose image of a young father and child is presented on the cover of the catalogue, is represented by seven photographs from his archives.
”Fatherhood has been put under a lot of pressure in the past,” says Nunn. ”Because of migration, fathers had to leave their families to find employment. That created a culture of a father being absent.”
Nunn says South Africa needs responsible fathers to build a healthy society. He says in townships it is generally accepted that women can raise children alone.
Nunn, who became a parent in his late 20s, has personal experience of being an absent father — he never married his daughter’s mother. She is now 19 years old and, regretfully he says, ”I have been absent for most of my child’s life.”
Of the seven photographs he submitted, Nunn’s favourite is a portrait of a farm worker family — a father wearing a suit, a bare-footed mother and their bare-footed son.
The photograph was taken in 1983 on a farm in KwaZulu-Natal. The three are standing next to their hut. ”They looked poor, but they looked happy,” says Nunn. ”This said to me, even if financial support is not enough, emotional support makes children happy.”
The exhibition is, however, a response to the dehumanisation of men due to social circumstances. The catalogue is introduced by Linda Richter, executive director of the HSRC unit.
In her introduction Richter draws attention to an image taken by photographer Peter Magubane in Soweto. It is of a young coal deliverer and his ”child” — an emaciated dog.
”This is the photograph that provided the inspiration for the exhibition,” Richter writes. ”A young coal deliverer, dehumanised by his material and social circumstances, is transformed by caring for his dog-child.”
The Fatherhood Project aims to generate a positive image of fatherhood that facilitates men’s involvement with children. A report by the HSRC says South Africa’s unacceptably high levels of child abuse, including sexual abuse perpetrated by men, points to the fact that fathers are absent from a large number of families. Despite this, the HSRC says, very few programmes that protect children and build family and community life focus on or include men. Durban will host South Africa’s first ever Fatherhood Convention later this year.
With reference to the use of photography, Ritcher writes that ”a photographic exhibition of compelling images demonstrating caring relationships between men and children was chosen … to focus on positive expectations of men, rather than on their failings. The positive images displayed in the exhibition open up a shared space for men and women to move into.
”The images were selected to engage viewers in an emotional way, to speak to feelings we all have.”
But the most telling observation Ritcher makes is that the idea of childhood experience does not only pertain to children. To prove this, she points out that ”even a 63-year-old man may still have a living father”.
The exhibition runs at the Association of Arts gallery in Nieuw Muckleneuk, Pretoria, from March 24 to April 8, and then transfers to other centres of the country. Tel: (031) 273 1418