Dr Sabie Surtee, director of her own company, Gnavitas: Coaching and Consultancy Services, describes a mentor as someone you would usually admire or respect or would like to emulate. “A coach asks the coachee the right questions to get the latter to find the best solutions or plan of action to proactively meet goals or address challenges. In contrast, a mentor shares his or her solutions that were used successfully to address similar goals or challenges.”
Surtee, who holds a PhD from the University of the Witwatersrand and a masters degree in sociology from the University of Toronto, is also director of Hers-SA, an organisation that runs leadership courses for women academics.
She believes it is important to have a life coach or mentor because ‘both … take a person out of victim mode and encourage the individual to take responsibility to meet goals or objectives”.
You can find a suitable coach through word of mouth or by approaching a coaching school or college that would have details of practising coaches.
Says Surtee: “Believe in your potential to live your best life. Get a coach to help you clarify what your best life would look like and what plan of action you would need to take to get there. After this, never stop believing that it is within your grasp.”
Surtee has had her own challenges. “Having entered the labour market during the apartheid era immediately upon my completion of high school, [I found that] gender and racial discrimination prevented me from breaking through the glass ceilings I encountered. Career advancement at the time was virtually impossible for a white-collar worker such as myself.
“I then embarked on a journey of self-discovery and had exposure to a vast body of knowledge through university studies. The attainment of knowledge, a critical mind and the accompanying self-esteem was instrumental in helping me to smash through glass ceilings that previously limited my career advancement and entry into certain professions.”
Striking a balance in life is essential. “It is a challenge to juggle different spheres in one’s life to strike a healthy balance. But, through the right support from a mentor, coach, family, friends, and colleagues, it is possible.”
Surtee believes that “me time” is very important. She describes this as allocating time to recharge your batteries and become more grounded and calmer. This could involve saying daily affirmations, keeping a journal and engaging in various spiritual practices.
“If this ‘me time’ is not done regularly, you could more than likely end up feeling as if life is spiralling out of control, which in turn leads to other challenges to one’s health, relationships, career, finances, and so on … It is therefore absolutely important to make the time to step off the treadmill to catch one’s breath and hop on again with more energy and assertiveness.”
Kim Meszaros, marketing executive at Kelly, says she believes that the most common challenge women face is finding balance.
“Knowing where and how to place your energy without relinquishing your femininity is an insecurity many women face. The ‘balance’ is different for each woman and the tactics required to reach a balance are not always straightforward.”
Meszaros says it is, “always ‘work hard, play hard’ for mothers when both home and work are demanding, and both are important”.
She advises women to:
- Believe that if you truly put everything into your work, you will be recognised for your efforts and be successful;
- Good work is the first step to be being recognised for a promotion. In instances where good work is not being recognised or rewarded, it is important that people find the confidence to take charge of the situation and arrange a professional discussion with their manager to discuss their performance. Lack of reward can sometimes be a case of unmet and perhaps even unknown expectations on both sides. Through clear communication of work objectives and the expectations attached to achieving those objectives, there is no need for staff to have to alert their management.
- Knowledge and self-investment are essential components of remaining assertive in the workplace. Only by gaining a holistic understanding of an organisation can you find the confidence you need to secure your success in it. It is also important always to keep sight of the journey ahead: “I have always viewed all of my jobs, even the unpleasant ones, as stepping stones to something bigger.”
- People have different ways of showing emotion and there are several strategies people can use to help them redirect this energy. Being “emotionally intelligent” means being able to manage uncontrolled and inappropriate emotional states, which is a valuable skill to have in the workplace.
- If you become emotional at work, take a break and think about it. Your emotional state is a decision you make. This means that, when a person feels that ‘decision time” is coming up, they have the power to take a break and choose the direction of their emotions.
- Plan as much as you can. It is true that unexpected demands creep up, but surrounding yourself with competent and supportive staff and planning for the unexpected as much as possible will go a long way towards helping you to manage your time.
- Always be sure of yourself, of who you are and where you want to go. By being conscious of your values, what is important to you and what drives you, you will always have the security you need to push yourself towards success.