Special Reports

Japanese banks full of saved face

Not the Mail & Guardian

Japan's banks revealed that, after decades of saving by citizens, the country's vaults and safety deposit boxes have been entirely filled with face.

Japanese vaults are crammed with an oversupply of facial savings.

"The Japanese public has been saving face for centuries," explained Bank of Japan spokesninja Zombi Ikonomi. "Now and then it has lost some face, whether through a recall of Toyotas or an unconditional surrender on the USS Missouri, but otherwise there has been an almost constant saving of face and this latest audit reveals that we have face coming out of our ears."

He said that face had ceased to be legal tender in Japan in 1242, but added that the latest figures suggest that "the Japanese people just seem to have a yen for face".

But, he warned, centuries of saving face mean that Japan's central bank now faces a face crisis. "We need to get that face into circulation, but without flooding the world economy and triggering a crisis of confidence in the quality of Japanese face."

He would not confirm or deny  rumours that scientists are working on a plan to use up excess face by processing it into face cream.

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