Not The Mail

Class of 2012: How they R doing

Rreport cards of our comrades in govermint.

Mangaung: The way forwardish

As the dust settles after December's ANC conference, Not the M&G brings you these exclusive scoops from between the lines next to the buffet table.

Europe ‘a crouton away from barbarism’

Europeans are being faced with hardship unprecedented since the Pan-European Croissant Shortage of the third weekend of June 2006.

Africa confirmed as easiest continent to draw from memory

A 13-year study funded by the World Bank has concluded that Africa is the easiest continent to get "sort of right" from memory.

Spokesperson Maharaj to get spokesperson

Mac Maharaj is getting his own spokesperson to help him to deal with the increasing instances of "rhetorical overreach" by President Jacob Zuma.

SA not gateway to Africa, but can solicit backdoor action

The Ministry of Trade and Industry has discovered South Africa "pretty much as far from every country on the planet as you can possibly get".

The City Round-up

Cavendish Square in Claremont is the greatest mall in the history of the world because Cousin Harry said that Cavendish Square is amazing

McDeputy Ramaphosa urged to run SA like McDonald’s

Supporters of Cyril Ramaphosa say his experience as owner of McDonald's South Africa will stand him in good stead as deputy president.

Nigerian prince disillusioned by hostile internet

Prince Pianola Andabanjo is offering $1-million to any person who will send him their bank details to help him to unfreeze the funds owed to him.

Motlanthe appointed headmaster of Hogwash School for Political Wizards

Kgalema Motlanthe has revealed that he has been appointed as headmaster of the new Hogwash School for Political Wizard-Cadres.

Nothing happens in Canada for 77th straight year

The Canadian government has confirmed the country's 28105th day without an incident of any kind.

Democratic Alliance to issue report cards for all South Africans

The DA has announced that in 2013 the party will be submitting report cards for ordinary citizens as well as for members of the Cabinet.

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