Phenomenal technique. That’s how BBC commentator John Motson described the goal that put Brazil through to the World Cup final. Scottish genius Alan Hansen raved about how Ronaldo beat seven men with a moment of genius. Globally it is being hailed as a wonder-goal.
Bollocks.
Flukey toe-poke. That’s the truth of it. Ronaldo — overweight, sluggish, petulant and unfit — now has six goals in the tournament and if Germany’s Miroslav Klose and Brazil’s far more talented Rivaldo don’t score in the final, Big Ron will win the Golden Boot.
Sure, sponsors Nike will be happy. So too will the television companies, desperate to hype this dying tournament. But is Ronaldo truly still a world-class asset?
Luiz Nazario De Lima, to give him his full name, spent the entire 1994 tournament on the bench when Brazil last won the World Cup in the United States. He was useful at France 98 until his collapse before the final, won 3-0 by France.
And this time, after a stream of injuries and comebacks at Inter Milan, he finds himself playing when he is less than 100% again. Fate suggests this would be a wonderful time for him to return to form. But I’m not convinced.
Before the semifinal against the testing Turks, Ronaldo was described as struggling with his ”knees, muscles and general fitness”. And it shows, despite half-a-dozen goals.
Let’s not mention the fact that one of those was a clear own goal, another a dodgy deflection, none of them classics in the Rivaldo class.
Let’s examine his effort. Sure, he did glide a bit through the Turkish defence. And yes, as Mottie said, he ”took it early”. But a toe punt is not phenomenal technique. Not in my book, not in anybody’s book.
Poor old Recber Rustu, the David Seaman ponytailed lookalike apparently wanted by Arsenal (Highbury just wouldn’t be the same without a poxy hairstyle), just failed to keep it out and, like Ronaldinho against England in the quarterfinal, we shall now have to live with weeks of analysts drooling over Ronaldo’s erm … moment of magic.
How lucky can these Brazilians be? Ronaldinho’s 40m free kick, as Seaman has confirmed, was ”a freak”.
Ronaldo’s 15m toe-poke falls in a similar category. The world’s greatest player knew he had overdone the run. His pace is gone, his girth is expanding, his legs have never been same, not since just before the 1998 final and that mysterious fit.
As any rank amateur will tell you, if you’re desperate, try a toe poke. And afterwards, try to pass it off as a moment of magic.
So we will conveniently forget Ronaldo’s other botched efforts at this World Cup. And we will pretend he didn’t start two niggly handbaggish battles with the poor Turks. Slow motion replays reveal an astonishing shove from Ronaldo that might well have ended in a red card. But, as always when Ronaldo is involved, the incident was missed.
Instead, we shall laud his talents, rave about his goal, award him the Golden Boot and laugh at his cute hairstyle. That’s how Nike, sponsors of Brazil, Ronaldo and God, would want it. Fifa won’t mind it either. After all these 1-0 wins and 0-0 draws in the knockout stages, they desperately need a superhero to re-emerge.
Poor old Turkey are forgotten until Christmas dinner. Hakan Sukur, awful for most of the month, nearly produced a wonderful volley on the turn to equalise, but it wasn’t to be.
The best Brazilian player at this World Cup? Goalkeeper Marcos, perhaps LuÃs Felipe Scolari’s most controversial choice. And Marcos has repaid that faith time and again behind that dodgy defence.
For once I find myself supporting the Germans on Sunday. Only the Irish have sneaked anything past ageless German goalkeeper Oliver Kahn. Marcos has been beaten three times in a World Cup which is running out of goals. The two keepers will vie for the Man of the Tournament tag.
At Yokohama on Sunday the Brazilians, with Ronaldinho back after suspension, must attempt to score the second goal in six goals against the Germans, who they have never played before in a World Cup. And I can see Brazil coming up with another spawny effort. Perhaps a toe-poke, or a wind-assisted free-kick with the too-light Fevernova ball.
I’d settle for a super goal from Rivaldo, the real talent in the Brazilian team. But with any luck Klose, a roof tiler from Poland until he was spotted by Kaiserslautern 18 months ago, will score two toe-pokes at the other end to grab the Golden Boot and the World Cup.