Do you read the Weekly Mail & Guardian often enough? Write down your responses, avoiding the temptation to check them against the answers printed below. Then turn the page around and score one point for each answer you got right
1. What magazine did Nelson Mandela edit this year?
2. How many cars were stolen from the Independent Electoral Commission? How many were written off? And how many cellular phones were reported stolen from them?
3. The person who ran the IEC department that failed to deliver ballot papers to voters has gone to which higher office?
4. What Zulu staple food does King Goodwill Zwelithini not eat?
5. Which cabinet minister boasts of his passion for cooking with rose petals?
6. Which cabinet minister would like to spend more time riding motorbikes?
7. Which far-rightwinger gave Free State Premier Terror Lekota a box of chocolates on his birthday?
8. Who, with the first names John Wayne, emerged to unexpected fame this year?
9. In which province did the ANC get the highest percentage of votes?
10. What proportion of the ANC’s votes came from black voters?
11. What proportion of the National Party’s vote came from coloured voters?
12. Which former Miss South Africa was an election candidate?
13. And which two former Springbok rugby captains were named as election candidates?
14. The ANC gave its highest award, the Isithwalandwe/Seaparankoe, to Joe Slovo. How many whites have received this award in the past?
15. How many cellular phone users are there in South Africa?
16. How much is each ANC MP obliged to give to the organisation from his or her monthly salary?
17. What is the name of the prince manhandled by Mangosuthu Buthelezi in an on-air SABC studio?
18. Which Catholic priest defied an order not to stand for parliament?
19. Which party had a candidate on its lists called Vasco da Gama?
20. Which party had on its list a man once sentenced to death in Ireland for killing his girlfriend?
21. Who broke the nose of Johannesburg culture supremo Christopher Till?
22. What was British MP Stephen Milligan wearing when found dead in his kitchen?
23. In what field does the South African editor of Hustler magazine have a doctorate?
24. Which two parties won the lowest votes in the national election?
25. Which South African magazine refused political advertisements aimed at women voters?
26. How old did Barbie turn this year?
27. How much did South Africa contribute to Southern Africa’s 1993 GDP of $139,1-bn?
28. Dr Nthato Motlana’s New Africa Investments has assets of R100-million, R400-million or R800-million?
29. What was the name of the Italian mani pulite (clean hands) campaign magistrate who resigned out of frustration in early December?
30. Who was Schoemaker-Levy 9?
31. Who were the two African presidents killed in a rocket attack on a single airplane this year?
32. Which country this year voted to stay out of the European Union, and which two voted to go in?
33. What is the name of the Nigerian, currently in prison, believed to have won last year’s election?
34. Who is the only Nigerian military leader to have stepped down from power in favour of a civilian government?
35. Who is the youngest South African premier?
36. How many of the 30 current cabinet ministers have served time in prison?
37. How many of the nine premiers have never served time in prison?
stay out of the European Union, and which two voted to go in?
33. What is the name of the Nigerian, currently in prison, believed to have won last year’s election?
34. Who is the only Nigerian military leader to have stepped down in favour of a civilian government?
35. Who is our youngest premier?
36. How many of the 30 current cabinet ministers have served time in prison?
37. How many of the nine premiers have never served time in prison?
38. On what street, named after a computer error, does Apple Computer’s famous research centre in Silicon Valley reside?
39. Which former convict was re-elected mayor of Washington?
40. What is the capital of Chechnya, centre of attention for Russian tanks and planes in recent weeks?
41. Which of South Africa’s official languages has been omitted from this list: Afrikaans, English, isi-Ndebele, Sesotho sa Leboa, Se-sotho, siSwati, Xitsonga, Set-swana, isiXhosa and isiZulu?
42. How many one-day matches has the South African cricket team won and lost so far this year (up to December 22)?
43. How many presidential projects are driving the reconstruction and development programme?
44. How much does South African Airways estimate it will cost to paint its fleet in the new national colours?
45. What were Ernie Els’ winnings this year?
46. What is the extent of United States aid that Mandela described as “peanuts”?
47. Who once used a pair of pliers to pull a trout fishing hook out of the finger of NP negotiator Roelf Meyer, saying: “If you’ve never trusted an ANC person before, you’d better get ready to do so now”?
48. How many colours are there on the South African flag?
49. How many houses did the ANC undertake to build in the next five years? And how many houses did it promise to electrify before 2000?
50. Who said:
a) To black businessmen: “We don’t want your votes. We want your wisdom.”
b) “I like to think I transfix voters with my big blue eyes.”
c) “God is our most powerful weapon, our spiritual atomic bomb.”
d) “I have no question in my mind that we will win three provinces, except Natal.”
e) “It’s an uhuru election.”
f) “If you think of Trevor Manuel as the future minister of finance, you can understand why the Egyptians worshipped cockroaches.”
51. From what language is Gauteng derived?
52. Which province has the lowest disposable income per head?
53. How many children are enrolled at South African schools: five million, 10-million or 15-million?
54. Who claims to be the most famous white woman in South Africa?
55. Joe Slovo declared to parliament that he had received the gift of a large cigar. From whom?
56. How many other MPs failed to declare this gift?
57. Who ghost-wrote Mandela’s autobiography?
58. Which rugby player bit off more than he could chew?
59. Who was the recipient of the punch that led to James Small’s eviction from the national rugby team?
How to rate your score
Under 10: You are in urgent need of a subscription to a good newspaper. What about the Weekly Mail & Guardian?
Under 30: You read widely, and forget most of it.
31 to 50: You read far too much trivia. Concentrate on the important stuff.
51 to 59: You are almost certainly cheating. Have you considered a job in the government?
ANSWERS
1. He was guest editor of the January edition of French Vogue.
2. 99 cars stolen, 31 written off, 155 phones stolen.
3. Director-general of Home Affairs
4. Beef.
5. Energy Affairs Minister Pik Botha.
6. Trade and Industry Minister Trevor Manuel.
7. Eddie von Maltitz.
8. John Wayne Bobbit.
9. Northern Transvaal: 91 percent.
10. Ninety-four percent, estimated.
11. Thirty percent, estimated.
12. Michelle Bruce, for the DP.
13. Dawie de Villiers and Naas Botha (who later withdrew).
14. Of 17 previous recipients, three were white.
15. Some 190 000 contracts have been signed.
16. R750.
17. Prince Sifiso Zulu.
18. Father Smangaliso Mkatshwa.
19. The NP.
20. The NP.
21. Lorna Ferguson, director of the Africus Biennale.
22. Women’s stockings.
23. Theology.
24. The Luso-South Africa Party got 3 293 votes and the Workers’ List Party managed 4 169 votes.
25. Fair Lady.
26. Thirty-five.
27. $112-billion.
28. R764,2-million.
29. Antonio Di Pietro.
30. The comet that hit Jupiter in July.
31. Cyprian Ntaryamina of Burundi and Juvenal Habyarimana of Rwanda.
32. Norwegians said no; Finns and Swedes said yes.
33. Moshood Abiola.
34. General Abasanji.
35. Northern Cape Premier Manne Dipico, age 35
36. Five.
37. Four.
41. Tshivenda.
43. Twenty-two.
44. R200-million.
45. $2,8-million.
46. $543 679 000 over three years.
47. ANC negotiator Cyril Ramaphosa.
48. Six: black, gold, green, blue, red and white.
49. One million and 2,5-million.
50. a) Gauteng Premier Tokyo Sexwale.
b) NP candidate Sheila Camerer.
c) Conservative Party leader Ferdi Hartzenberg.
d) Pan Africanist Congress secretary general !Khoisan X.
e) DP leader Zach de Beer.
f) DP candidate Robin Carlisle.
51. None, and all. It is an invented amalgam.
52. Northern Transvaal; at R2 112, it is 13 percent of Gauteng’s figure.
53. Ten million.
54. Evita Bezuidenhout.
55. The < I>Weekly Mail & Guardian.
56. All 489 others (possibly because they are only obliged to declare gifts worth more than R100).
57. Richard Stengel.
58. Johan le Roux.
59. Ian McLeod, Springbok wave-skiier.
38. Infinite Loop.
39. Marion Barry.
40. Grozny.
41. Tshivenda.
42. Won 10 and lost 18.
43. Twenty-two.
44. R200-million.
45. $2,8-million.
46. $543 679 000 over three years.
47. ANC negotiator Cyril Ramaphosa.
48. Six: black, gold, green, blue, red and white.
49. One million and 2,5-million.
50. a) Gauteng Premier Tokyo Sexwale.
b) NP candidate Sheila Camerer.
c) Conservative Party leader Ferdi Hartzenberg.
d) PAC secretary general !Khoisan X.
e) DP leader Zach de Beer.
f) DP candidate Robin Carlisle.
51. None, and all. It is an invented amalgam.
52. Northern Transvaal; at R2 112, it is 13 percent of Gauteng’s figure.
53. Ten million.
54. Evita Bezuidenhout.
55. The Weekly Mail & Guardian.
56. All 489 others (possibly because they are only obliged to declare gifts worth more than R100).
57. Richard Stengel.
58. Johan le Roux.
59. Ian McLeod, Springbok wave-skiier.