/ 1 June 2006

Well, why didn’t you say so?

Readers may have learnt by now that the Steve Tshwete municipality in Middelburg, still paying off a R35-million loan to the national Treasury, is going to spend R300 000 on an inauguration party for its new mayor. What they may not have heard is the compelling defence provided for this expenditure. According to News24, chief whip Mike Masinga said that the ANC councillors ”were unanimous in their decision to spend the money”. Well hell, that changes everything!

What’s in a name?

Lemmer knows the Western media have a jaundiced view of Africa, but jislaaik, couldn’t Reuters have found a correspondent to cover the Darfur catastrophe who was called something other than Opheera McDoom?

And still she talks

According to news reports Minister of Denial Manto Tshabalala-Msimang was ”inspired” by the courage of Ruth Bhengu in dealing with her daughter’s HIV/Aids. Lemmer is happy for the minister that she’s feeling so affirmed, even if it is by unnecessary deaths, but is still left wondering whether this is the sort of inspiration that leads to logical, medically sound action or the kind that simply sounds maternal on public statements faxed from Zurich.

Red-faced pea-brains

A photograph of Nelson Mandela meeting the Black Eyed Peas this week left Dominee Nogmaal Nagmaal Naude fuming. ”Nee-a,” he cried, pointing at the camouflaged critter hovering over Mandela’s shoulder. ”The youth are entitled to their degenerate fashions and customs, but if there’s one person in the world you take your bloody hat off for, it’s Madiba.” Hoor, hoor, dominee.

Outdated

An online advertisement for Outsurance, offering a handyman service to clients, promises ”A husband on call 24/7”. Lemmer assumes this means they’ll send over someone who won’t ask for directions, who can’t fix anything, and who’ll stop having sex with you after a fortnight.