Sam Allardyce once thought he would never get the England job because he did not have a fancy-sounding surname. He thought he was too northern, too unfashionable, too egg and chips. He drank ale and he chewed gum, sometimes at the same time. ”Maybe I should change my name to Allardici,” he suggested.

After a week of Premiership matches, we won’t mention Sol Campbell storming out of Highbury after being substituted in Arsenal’s shock 3-2 defeat at the hands of West Ham. And we can’t comment on David Bentley, the unwanted Arsenal youngster, scoring a hat-trick for Blackburn over Man United the week that he signed away his Highbury future.

The mighty Roger Federer lost the battle with his bottom lip last Sunday. In the way that people divert themselves by dividing the world into two groups — cavaliers or roundheads, gentlemen or players, and so on — it is entirely possible to split the sporting world into criers and non-criers, believes Marina Hyde.

”Winner of the World Cup, confronter of Darrel Hair, defender of Muttiah Muralitharan’s action — Arjuna Ranatunga is an elder statesman of cricket. When he speaks, people listen. Of course, they only listen because they’re trapped next to him on the bus, pinned into their seats by his girth and missionary zeal,” writes Tom Eaton.