On Tuesday a spokesperson for Cricket South Africa revealed that batsman HD Ackerman had been suspended for three matches following an on-field altercation with an opponent. One of the charges laid was that HD’s actions ”brought the game into disrepute”. Ja nee, given that the oke plays for a team sponsored by Fidentia, Lemmer reckons he did that just by pulling on his shirt and advertising the slimeball of the week.
Apple for the teacher
The oom is the first to admit that he can be a cantankerous old bugger, but he also likes to give credit where it’s due. Which is why he got a kick this week out of hearing Education Minister Naledi Pandor give the Eastern Cape education department a hard klap after it agreed to push failed grade 11s into grade 12. ”Placing these learners in this situation will almost certainly result in their further failure,” she said. In the old language, that’s what the manne call six of the best. Eina.
Zap! Kerpow! Ping!
Just when the manne thought the department of public enterprises had managed to secure all its loose nuts and bolts, Alec Erwin is back to his babbling best. Speaking to Parliament on Monday about the soon-to-be-built second nuclear reactor, the minister waxed mysterious about its planned location. ”One does not reveal where a nuclear power plant is to be built,” he said, ”because we still have to acquire the land, although we might have already done that.” Well, have we or haven’t we? Do we know? Does anyone know? What’s my name and where do I live? Anyone? Mommy?
No cigar
One swift denial a fortnight ago and all the media fuss about an alleged meeting between Jacob Zuma and Tokyo Sexwale is suddenly tjoepstil. A pity, though: the oom was looking forward to hearing Oom Tokyo’s supporters singing Awlethu’ caviar-and-champers wam.
Mac the Craft-knife
As if humans weren’t violent enough, the SABC news website now seems to have found murderous office equipment stalking our playgrounds. Consider the headline: ”Boy stabbed on the head by scissors in schoolyard.” Next thing we’ll have protractors throwing each other with stones in the eye …
Freedom Front plus …
Last week the Oom read that the Freedom Front Plus and the Federal Alliance are planning to merge before the 2009 general election. After a week of discussions with Dorsbult’s political analysts, he can confirm that the merge will transform both parties from a speck to an official dot, and if they do very well in 2009, they might even apply for full-blown blot status.