President Cyril Ramaphosa attends the coronation ceremony of King MisuZulu kaZwelithini. File photo by Getty Images
Tuesday.
Am I the only one who sees the irony in our head of state, Cyril Matamela Ramaphosa, being censured by the Pretoria high court for rushing the goalie in recognising MisuZulu kaZwelithini as Isilo of the Zulu nation in March 2022?
Ramaphosa, whose snail pace in decision-making is legendary, got nailed by the court for pushing ahead with the process of recognising MisuZulu as king while three court challenges to his legitimacy were being heard.
Not only did the president preempt the court’s findings, but he also failed to appoint an investigative panel into allegations that the process of naming MisuZulu had been flawed.
So much for slow-motion Cyril.
Instead of appointing the panel, Ramaphosa instead consulted one that had been appointed by the then cooperative governance and traditional affairs minister, Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma, to mediate among the factions in the royal family.
But Ramaphosa ignored the recommendations of the mediation panel, headed by former KwaZulu-Natal premier Willies Mchunu, which said he should hold back on recognising the king until after the court cases were concluded.
Mchunu’s panel also recommended an acting appointment, along with a medium-term mediation process to prevent the court cases doing long-term damage to the royal house.
Mchunu also recommended that the president consult the core royal family.
Ramaphosa didn’t and instead recognised MisuZulu, with a huge certification ceremony taking place in Durban at the Moses Mabhida Stadium in October last year.
On Monday, the royal chickens came home to roost and the court ruled in favour of MisuZulu’s paternal uncle, Prince Mbonisi Zulu, and his half-brother, Prince — and would-be king — Simakade.
Judge Norman Davis called VAR and declared Ramaphosa offside in his decision to recognise MisuZulu before appointing — and consulting — the investigative panel, as laid down in the Traditional Leadership and Khoi-San Act.
The judge didn’t rule on who should be king — he wasn’t asked to — but he remitted the matter to Ramaphosa, ordering him to start the process afresh after appointing the investigative panel he should have put in place before recognising MisuZulu.
Not the anticipated outcome for a president known for his suspended-animation decision-making, but what the court ordered, nonetheless.
Thus far there’s been an embarrassed silence from the presidency about the matter — I would also be taking cover — but the head of state is likely to appeal the ruling.
There’s little chance of the sheriff making a detour from Luthuli House and confiscating MisuZulu’s royal regalia — or turfing him out of the palace — but Ramaphosa’s uncharacteristic turn of speed has left us all in a right royal mess.
Speaking of messes, it was fortunate that eThekwini metro managed to finally give the long-dormant paddling pools along the city’s Golden Mile a coat of paint ahead of the extra day’s holiday the president gave us to celebrate the Springboks winning the Rugby World Cup.
They’re going to be needed.
The city’s beaches are all closed again, so there will at least be somewhere for those who flock to the ocean to cool off, given that they can’t do it there because of the dangerously high E coli levels.
Provided, of course, that the city finds a way to fill the saltwater pools with fresh water, now that the seawater that is normally pumped into them is full of poo and not fit for swimming, paddling or anything else.
Not exactly what the hundreds of thousands who will (hopefully) come to the city this December were hoping to be paying for — days before the jolly season kicks off.
If the municipality uses hose pipes, they’ll still be at it next December, so a fleet of city water tankers will have to be diverted from one of eThekwini’s water-deprived suburbs or townships to fill the pools daily.
It’s that or the pools will have to remain dry, another useless facility to taunt year-end beachgoers: close enough to see but offering no relief from the December heat and humidity.
The city blames the rise in E coli levels on heavy rains and not its failure to repair all of eThekwini’s pump stations, 18 months after the floods that wiped out the sewerage system.
It says a few rain-free days — not a really strong likelihood at this time of year — will render Durban’s beaches swimmable.
They hopefully will be by the time the bulk of the holidaymakers get here.
If they’re not, mayor Mxolisi Kaunda, our City Hall wedding singer, may have to step in and entertain the punters sweating furiously on the promenade.
We are — as always — led.