The daft, clever, stupid, witty things South Africans said in 1994, compiled by Jennifer Crwys-Williams
* Nelson Mandela has so much egg on his face he needs two bars of soap to get it off. — FW de Klerk (before the election)
* Mr Mandela has walked a long road and now stands at the top of the hill. A traveller would sit down and admire the view, but a man of destiny knows that beyond the view there is another and another and another.– FW de Klerk (after the election)
* If you leave Afrikaners alone, they are not such bad bastards.– Breyten Breytenbach (before the elections)
* The arse-side of freedom does not exactly smell of roses.– Breyten Breytenbach (after the elections)
* I have said time and again: “We are sorry that that happened.”– FW de Klerk (on the subject of apartheid)
* The ANC complained that blacks did not have the vote, as if it was the government’s fault.– FW de Klerk (on the subject of apartheid)
* We are not a mouse; you will hear the roar of the NP lion when the results come out.– FW de Klerk (before the election)
* The National Party elite is getting into bed with the ANC in order to preserve its silken sheets, and the leadership elite of the ANC is getting into bed with the NP to enjoy this newfound luxury.– Winnie Mandela (during negotiations)
* You cannot have liberation on Monday and a house on Tuesday.– Thabo Mbeki (after negotiations)
* Sometimes, if you wear suits for too long, it changes your ideology.– Joe Slovo (after being criticised for wearing a capitalist suit)
* The NP have been on more roads to Damascus than the average Syrian truck driver.– Tony Leon (during negotiations)
* Free at last. Thank God we are free at last.– Nelson Mandela
* The climate in this country is so serious that our participation is the best thing I can do for this country.– Mangosuthu Buthelezi (announcing his last- minute entry into elections)
* If you touch a rightwinger before or after the election, then we will donder you harder than we will ever donder you.– Eugene Terre’Blanche (Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging leader)
* It has never been my intention to offend farmers and Afrikaners.– Peter Mokaba
* Holland is an ideal location for a volkstaat for the Boere. — Matthew Phosa (regional premier)
* I think we can say we’ve eradicated the word `Kaffir’ from all official place names in South Africa.– Elwyn Jones (National Place Names Committee)
* We will not again be conquered and we will not again be subjugated.– Mangosuthu Buthelezi
* We are ready. You are ready. Let’s do it.– Independent Electoral Commission pre-election advertisement
* No anthem, no flag, no choice, just bullshit.– Anonymous graffiti (before election)
* I’ve half a mind to vote PAC (that’s all I need).– Anonymous graffiti (before election)
* Buy now while shops last.– Anonymous grafitti (before election)
* I would trade every one of my Comrades medals, not even for an Olympic medal, but just for the opportunity to say I was an Olympian, that once I competed in the finest arena on earth. — Bruce Fordyce (sportsman, poignantly referring to lost opportunities)
* I’m walking on clouds. It is an incredible feeling, like falling in love. We South Africans are going to be the rainbow people of the world.– Desmond Tutu (after voting)
* We entered into a covenant that we shall build a society in which all South Africans , both black and white, will be able to walk tall, without any fear in their hearts, assured of their inalienable right to human dignity — a rainbow nation at peace with itself and the world.– President Nelson Mandela (from his inauguration speech)
Jennifer Crwys-Williams is a journalist and author of The South African Dictionary of Quotations, published recently by Penguin