Movable Feast Humphrey Tyler
THE first thing you do when you arrive at the Imperial Hotel in Pietermaritzburg in KwaZulu/Natal is wonder why on earth you didn’t bring your horse. This has nothing to do with the food. It is the early colonial atmosphere. (Actually, I don’t ride horses. Horses give me hay fever.)
But what charm, what elegance. Listen to the tinkling water in the shaded, domed courtyard. Can you just imagine the secret assignations in times gone by? Lady Ashley, there is a gentleman to see you. He is in the Napoleon Room. He’s wearing his Grenadier Guards uniform. And spurs. Swoon.
Who could blame her.
Nowadays, of course, it is less, well, British.
Around the time they opened the local provincial parliament, the place was buzzing with heavies in dark suits talking mainly Zulu. I asked one of them, excuse me, are you in the cabinet? He said no, he was a bodyguard. There was an ominous bulge under his jacket. But, at the far end of the courtyard, an elderly gentleman played some fetching tunes by Andrew Lloyd-Webber imperturbably on the white baby grand piano, and the waiters remained urbane.
The Imperial Hotel was established in 1878 and it is one of the best reasons for visiting Pietermaritzburg. The heart of its social activities (apart from the bars) is the central courtyard. This is open during the week for bar lunches. Sunlight is gently filtered through the dome high overhead. There are palms and potted plants all over. Little umbrellas shade individual tables. It is very convivial to join friends here. At one end there is a
The fare is varied enough: curry is R16,50; liver, bacon, onion and mash is the same; steak egg and chips costs R17,50 and grilled hake fillet with chips is R15. The helpings are delicate but not mean.
In the evening and on Sunday at lunchtime the main action for the public moves to the Garden Room, which opens widely on to the courtyard. The Sunday meal is a buffet with a generous variety.
There are various seafoods to start (though no crayfish this week), including shrimp salad, calamari and peppered mackerel, some salads and also salami on the side and other cold meats. Your table is set with quality napery and the cutlery is definitely imperial. If you choose a white wine, not red, the larger glasses are removed and smaller ones (but not thimbles) are proffered at once, without asking.
The main dish is a carvery. Your choice is mutton, pork or beef — or the lot. The pork was slightly overdone, probably a mere oversight. The lamb was tender and done perfectly; the beef a hint rare, as it should be. The vegetables were mixed, and there were roast potatoes. There was a wide variety of desserts, calculated to entice people with a sweet tooth and an eye for pastry. The cost is R36. A bottle of Theuniskraal Riesling cost R37,80. But KwaZulu/Natal has no idea about what the right price is for even ordinary wines.
The evening a la carte menu is varied but not so complex as to extend the kitchen. (One of the chefs has a greying beard and looks philosophical; just right.) There’s line fish at R20, a “super” sirloin at R22 and the T-Bone is
This is inexpensive by most standards for quality service and unequalled surroundings.
On your way out, peek at some of the historic photographs framed on the wall in the little ante-room on the way to the parking area behind the hotel. Do you recognise the bearded guy?
It is George Bernard Shaw sitting in the Imperial Hotel courtyard in 1935. Say what you will about the irascible old gent, he had good taste.