Politician Thandi Modise talks frankly about being abused by her husband, to Stefaans Brummer
SHE’s deputy head of the ANC Women’s League, MP and former Umkhonto weSizwe commander, yet Thandi Modise cannot make phone calls from home. For that she needs the permission of her husband, and he won’t give it to
The SABC’s controversial decision last week to shelve a programme in which a number of women, including Modise, talk about the abuse of women has, if anything, strengthened her resolve to fight for the right of women to be safe from abuse — and to communicate their experiences freely.
Modise herself is speaking out. The pre-recorded discussion Women Overcoming Abuse was due to be screened on NNTV and CCV last Sunday, but the SABC decided to pull the show when Modise’s husband, Thami Mkhwanazi, threatened court action.
In the programme Modise refers to “my husband” as her tormentor, although she does not name him. She has started divorce proceedings against Mkhwanazi, a journalist (who worked previously for the Mail & Guardian) and businessman who spent seven years on Robben Island as an ANC political prisoner.
Mkhwanazi called Television News Productions’ (TNP) editor of news input Joe Thloloe last week, threatening to take the broadcaster to court should the screening go ahead. The SABC relented, leading to accusations that the “buddy network” was in place and that the SABC’s male-dominated hierarchy was taking the man’s side of the argument.
TNP head Jill Chisholm this week said the broadcaster was still “interested in transmitting the programme because it is an important subject”, but that Mkhwanazi’s objection had “given us reason to review the legal position and review the programme’s quality in terms of balance”. No final decision had been taken on how to overcome the dilemma, she said.
Thloloe confirmed the intention was still to screen the show, but added: “We found we were being drawn into a family dispute and that is why we needed to put balance into the matter.”
That, perhaps, is where Thloloe put his foot in it. Women’s rights advocates point out that too often society ignores violence because “it is a family matter”. Rights taken for granted on the street are blocked by the walls of homes.
Modise said this week: “Women must learn to speak up. People must know that those problems exist, even for former Umkhonto weSizwe commanders.”
But how can a former soldier, a powerful woman like herself become an abuse victim? “It is very simple. Even if we have some success in life, we are taught to keep quiet. Even women are sometimes not sympathetic to other women who open their mouths.
“I find that people are ashamed on my behalf that I opened my mouth, because I am a leader and leaders are not supposed to acknowledge problems.”
Modise did not give details of her own alleged abuse this week, but pointed out: “Sometimes people think if you’ve not been physically beaten up you can’t have a case against a man. But the mental agony of emotional abuse, as far as I’m concerned, is worse than bruises on your body.”
The law and police’s understanding of domestic violence, especially non-physical, is still hopelessly inadequate, she said. In spite of the reforms brought about by the Domestic Violence Act of 1993, there is still no provision to counter emotional abuse at home. In spite of the reform, police often register charges of common assault rather than domestic violence.
“After a street quarrel I can go home, and the other party can go home. Domestic violence is different. You have to go home to where he lives.” Which is what Modise still has to do. When she is not attending Parliament in Cape Town, she stays in the Johannesburg family home, where Mkhwanazi also lives. Hence her inability to use the phone from home; it is not allowed.
Modise says her time in Umkhonto weSizwe (MK) was happier. “I was working with men mostly, and I enjoyed what I did.” She left South Africa in 1976 and joined MK.
“At the beginning it was difficult for the men to treat us equally, but as the training progressed we proved that we deserved equality. I became an officer and did not have problems with the men under me.” Modise came back in 1978, and was arrested in 1979. She spent nine years first in detention, later in jail as convicted
In jail, her rights as a woman were not respected. “When I was arrested I was about four months pregnant. But I was not allowed to wash or even change my clothes for a number of weeks.” When her child was about to be born, she was taken from the cells to hospital, and that is where the ultimate insult came: young policemen looked on as she gave birth. “Those were the things that harmed me.”
Modise started a relationship with Mkhwanazi in 1989 after her release, and thought everything was fine. “Maybe the signs were there, but I hadn’t ever had an adult relationship because I had been in jail.”
Modise said she “reluctantly” accepted the SABC’s explanation that the programme had to be pulled “because of journalistic ethics”. But the women on the panel deserved as much opportunity to state their case as their abusers … who for now, it seems, got the first hearing.
Mkhwanazi could not be contacted for comment.