/ 22 November 1996

Two quaint stereotypes

THEATRE: Glynis O’Hara

THE first 15 minutes or so of Two Straight Queers seemed to confirm my worst fears, with in-jokes that couldn’t leap the ghetto’s perimeter fence. But all of a sudden it took off and I found myself laughing – really hard.

A gay man, Bernie, is left R2-million by his uncle, on condition that he goes straight, gets married and has children. As he says, only a vindictive closet queen could dream that up.

He has his eye on his lesbian friend Des for the wifely role, and the two of them go through the most hilarious contortions trying to be what they’re not – heterosexual. Attempting to capture the respective walks of a straight man and woman provides some of the funniest physical comedy I’ve seen in years.

Of course, what they’re really doing is showing how it’s impossible to deny what you really are and it’s cruel and evil to expect otherwise. And what a fun way to say so. It’s the best gay drama I’ve seen since Australia’s The Sum Of Us, which took a swipe at both straight and gay prejudices and asked if it really mattered which bar you went to, because the really important thing was to learn how to love.

Toni Morkel’s a lovely actor, but she handles the butch Des with aplomb, her face a picture as she’s asked to put on crimplene and act the sweet housewife. Robert Colman too is a pleasure to watch.

The play breaks no new ground in the way it looks at gay life, but then neither did La Cage aux Folles, and that did and does no harm to its box office.

Sometimes humour is more than enough.

Two Straight Queers is on at the Market Theatre until December 21