Unhappy with your breast size, or plagued by sagging eyelids? Don’t bother calling a plastic surgeon – you can simply place your bids online as a top South African private hospital opens an Internet auction offering a range of plastic surgery operations with a starting price of one rand. Bidders logging on to www.bidorbuy.co.za will be offered a breast reduction operation on Monday, laser skin resurfacing on Tuesday, fat removal on Wednesday, facial hair removal on Thursday and eyelid surgery on Friday. The average price for breast reduction surgery is about R14000. “The operation will go to the highest bidder,” said Jack Shevel, chief executive officer of private hospital group Netcare. All the operations – to be carried out at Johannesburg’s Park Lane Clinic – are elective surgery and therefore not covered by medical insurance schemes. “We are looking to attract uninsured patients. The target market for cosmetic surgery is the higher income bracket. We will see what they are prepared to pay,” Shevel said. The auction will be accompanied by a giant billboard advertisement in Johannesburg repeating the word “Tits” in letters of decreasing size.