A couple of weeks ago, the Mail & Guardian‘s Stefaans Brummer wrote a satirical piece that lampooned Public Protector Selby Baqwa’s office as providing a cleansing service. He described how Baqwa’s hot air manages to steam-clean any hint of scandal out of some ministers’ biggest blapses.
Now Oom Krisjan notes that it’s not only those at Sour Street who believe in being His Master’s Voice.
City Press (in an ”analytical” piece by Jimmy Seepe, boet of our own Sipho) asserts that ”the public protector’s office … has been a thorn for politicians and government institutions who have tried religiously to avoid being the subject of its investigations” and that ”it has become the most feared institution after the auditor general and the National Directorate of Public Prosecutions”. Ha ha.
Seepe quotes Baqwa as saying: ”It is malicious to suggest this office provided a free cleansing service. Such suggestions are totally unfounded and nonsensical. I reject the notion that I’m a cleanser with the contempt it deserves.”
A free cleansing service for the free cleanser?
Lust in the dust
The Board of Health Care Funders (BHF) held its annual bash in the windswept Namibian metropolis of Swakopmund last week. The strain of debating worthy issues such as how to curb spiralling medical inflation were leavened by the R800-a-head farewell bash for departing BHF head Aslam Dasoo. From his perch among the dunes Lemmer gazed enviously at the large, carpeted tent erected among the shifting sands, which held the great and the good from the medical-industry world, including Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel and top finance officials.
As an opera singer warbled under the desert moon, Lemmer was vaguely disturbed by squeaks and moans that seemed unrelated to the music or the communal festivities. As the participants departed the resort town later in the week, much discussion was held over which feisty participant had to pay the hotel extra for the ”large black gentleman” who spent some hours discussing medical affairs in her bedroom late at night.
Lemmer wishes to reassure the concerned owner of the relevant hotel that the gentleman was not actually a high-class gigolo, but rather one of the most reputable figures in South Africa’s medical world. Lemmer also understands that there was a much-commented-on push on furthering cross-border regulatory affairs.
Tomorrow’s news
Oom Krisjan recently mentioned Telkom’s amazing ability to predict the future. But it seems South African newspapers do not want to be left behind. On May 12 Beeld‘s website delivered the news from May 30. Not to be outdone, the next day Beeld‘s sister paper Die Burger‘s website gave a sneak preview of what we would read about on November 21 2121.
Time means nothing when you’re having fun – or living in the visdorpie.
Rainbow sperm
Groote Schuur hospital’s reproductive medicine unit is advertising for ”urgent donations of black, Indian and coloured sperm”. And all the time, Lemmer thought it was the same colour.
A different tune
Ahh, our national defence force surely has many hidden talents, including a very adept rendition of Barry Manilow’s Copa Cabana (”Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl …”) That tribute to an ageing entertainer was just one of the not-so-traditional songs played outside the National Assembly by the military band ahead of Minister of Defence Mosiuoa ”Terror” Lekota’s budget speech.
The ”amaSANDF 24/7” – South African National Defence Force 24 hours seven days a week, for the uninitiated – pulled out all the stops: the public gallery was filled with men and women in uniform and posters displayed in the Old Assembly lobby – just in case any MP might not be aware of what the defence force is supposed to do, apart from playing funky music, that is!
Dial T for terror
Some people have no respect. Lemmer hears that a man allegedly stole a cellphone and other personal items from Lekota at Steve Tshwete’s funeral at the Bisho stadium recently. He has been arrested.
The Daily Disgrace reported this week that the arrested man claimed to be a friend of Tshwete’s son, Mayihlome. Senior Superintendent Marinda Mills said the incident had not been reported to the media because a charge of theft had not been laid immediately, and the theft had only been reported by Lekota later. Apparently, the man was sitting with family members and other VIPs in a special enclosure.
Readers wishing to alert Oom Krisjan to matters of national or lesser importance can do so by clicking on the link below.