Events up north dominated the South African media this week and, since watching Uncle Bob duly win Zimbabwe’s version of Big Brother was better than watching South African sports teams get another klap, the topic dominated conversation in the Dorsbult bar too. The manne were a little confused, however, at how the coverage from the nation’s biggest broadcaster changed course in midstream. The watchdogs of democracy became Nipper overnight.
It seems the SABC’s reporters in Zimbabwe have been fixed. Following what Minister in the Office of the President Olivia Muchena considered a hostile grilling by Sally Burdett in a live link from Johannesburg recently, she made a strong complaint to the South African authorities. As a result the news department at Auckland Park was told to give Zimbabwean ministers a free rein in interviews – raising the hackles of many a reporter.
Night and day
E.tv has been particularly thorough in its coverage, sending star news-hound Debora Patta to Zimbabwe for its extended 7pm bulletin. What worries the manne, however, is that at the time we watch the broadcasts from Harare it is dark in the Groot Marico ? while Patta is bathed in glorious sunshine. The two places are in the same time zone, which makes us wonder whether e.tv is being a little disingenuous by billing her reports as ”live” – or if the sun really does shine out of her orifices. Her public don’t appear so convinced though – the Unofficial Debora Patta Fan Club (www.geocities.com/durbsonline/frame?b.html) seems to be defunct.
Point of view
We hear there was only one mention of Zimbabwe’s election by the African National Congress in Parliament on Tuesday with the ANC MP declaring it free and fair. The statement came from the only blind member in the House.
Every little crook and nanny
Some might believe Robert Mugabe’s bully-boy tactics stole the election, but in India it appears an advantage for aspiring politicians to have a deep understanding of crime. In recent elections in Uttar Pradesh, the country’s most populous province, 910 candidates with criminal cases registered against them – including 430 who had heinous ones like murder, rape and kidnapping – tried their luck at the hustings, for the 403 seats. Of these candidates, 122 were elected.
We ain’t got no paranoia
Sometimes the best efforts to defend the fragile egos of politicians and other worthies can run aground on the rocks of the English language. So Oom Krisjan has much sympathy for presidential imbongi Smuts Ngonyama.
In a response to Tom Masland’s Newsweek article on ”Africa’s lonely rebel”, Smuts went into the attack: ”Characteristic of all ‘divide and rule strategies’, this badly written movie script camouflaging as an analysis, carries all the fictitious elements of scandal, lies, deceit and betrayal with the sole purpose of creating destabilisation within the [African National Congress], its leadership and in government …
”In conclusion, no such shoddy journalism camouflaged as in-depth analysis is worthy of a decent response from the ANC.”
We agree, it wasn’t a decent response.
Let them eat mielies
True to the time-honoured tradition of Marie Antoinette, Koos Bekker, MD of cash-strapped Naspers, deluged his loyal servants with two truck-loads of green mielies delivered from his farm – in Heidelberg, Gauteng – to the Naspers centre in Cape Town on March 8.
Staff were told: ”Everyone is welcome to take home a packet of fresh mielies for supper. Sorry, only one packet per person, otherwise some people will miss out!”
With this magnanimous gesture he follows in the footsteps of another South African media giant, the late Marius Jooste of Perskor. When the company was still publishing Die Transvaler, Vaderland, Hoofstad and Oggendblad, the respective editorial staffs would get a turkey every year in lieu of a Christmas bonus. Old-timers tell that they knew the end was nigh when the turkey became a chicken.
Skilful
Was it a Freudian slip or did Pieter Kruger inadvertently blow the cover of Aussie Les Kiss when he referred to former Springbok coach Harry Viljoen’s erstwhile adviser as Less Skill in Business Day recently?
Light roller
Or maybe Kruger has been shopping at the Model Cafe, in the visdorpie. It isn’t the biggest corporation in South Africa, but it doesn’t want to be left out of the race to become the ”official supplier” of something to somebody.
A handwritten sign on the front of the till proclaims: ”Official supplier of rizlas to the national cricket team.”
Tannie Krisjan’s corner
Lemmer notes that some readers feel he should get in touch with his feminine side, or at least focus on issues closer to women’s hearts than the things that usually appear in this column. In the interests of gender relations – and taking a leaf out of Nora Ephron’s book (Heartburn, to be exact) – here is one of the Dorsbult bar’s favourite resepte:
500ml UHT-process cream
tin condensed milk
tin (big one) evaporated milk
11/2 cup whisky
one teaspoon coffee, one teaspoon chocolate powder
Mix all ingredients together in a bowl until smooth. Chill and serve. It’s a lekker dop for the dames.
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