Wood will miss the war

It’s been a long week for all of us, players, fans and journalists alike, as we prepare for the biggest qualifying game of the 2003 Rugby World Cup.

But nobody’s had a longer week than England’s stand-by scrumhalf Martyn Wood, poor lamb.

He was plucked from Bath (the town, not the tub) on Monday, arrived in Perth on Tuesday and, 63 hours later, he left for Bath’s Sunday fixture against Saracens in the English premiership on the 3.15 flight out of Perth on Thursday afternoon.

Was Wood, who has guided red-hot Bath to the top of the table after their relegation rumblings last season, just a massive decoy runner, as they like to call illegally positioned backs at this World Cup? Or a very expensive back-up?

Both Matt Dawson (leg) and Kyran Bracken (back) assured me on Wednesday that their miraculous recoveries are complete.

In the lavish ball room at the team’s Sheraton hotel, Dawson said: ‘You always fear the worst when you get a knock, but I’ve got no doubt I’ll be ready.”

Bracken, the guy I spotted rushing to a closed chemist on Tuesday night, said: ‘This is the first problem I’ve had since back surgery four years ago. I was devastated when it happened, but I’ve felt no real pain since Sunday. I’ll be okay.”

After the biggest-so-far 84-6 drubbing of Georgia last Sunday, they were the real doubts for the South Africa game, along with Richard ‘I’m fit again too” Hill and recovering replacement Darren Gewcock, who had his toe cracked during the warm-up when Ben Cohen’s substantial weight was accidentally brought to bear.

But when the big team announcement came it was a no-change situation apart from Grewcock making way on the bench.

Over in Fremantle, the dockside poor relation to Perth, South Africa, the Bokside poor relation to England, failed to fly anybody anywhere, thus saving themselves an estimated £12 000, which is a lot of rands.

Jacque Fourie and Lawrence Sephaka are both out and hamstrung captain Corné Krige returns after missing the 72-6 romp against Uruguay (pronounced ‘You’re not very good guys”), but coach Rudi Straueli appears to escape the intense medical interrogations over his side’s injury problems.

Of the two camps, the South Africans are coming out with stronger views on what some insensitive rugby-watchers have dubbed Boer War II.

Though I have yet to see anything resembling the scorched earth policy, concentration camps or anybody who looks remotely like Lord Kitchener, some would like to set this game up as a war.

Actually, England would love it.

Last November, when the South Africans came to Twickenham, they decided unarmed combat was a good idea. Jannes Labuschagne was sent off for a late tackle on Jonny Wilkinson after 23 minutes, Werner Greeff was sin-binned for a straight-arm tackle and Krige disgraced himself with a series of bizarre misdemeanours.

He even aimed a blow at the admittedly annoying Dawson, missed, and concussed a teammate.

Similar incidents overshadowed this year’s annual Tri-Nations defeat in Australia — where the traditional Bok biting allegations resurfaced.

Krige admits: ‘I reacted the wrong way. I’m not the kind of guy who sits back when his side is taking a beating, but I have learned a lot since then. I’ve made my apologies and I’ve moved on.”

Pity really, since those shenanigans saw England coast to a record 53-3 win over the 14-man Boks.

The England camp simply refuses to discuss the possibility of another bloody battle. Wilkinson says: ‘I don’t expect to be targeted any more than I normally am in these big games.”

Captain Martin Johnson argues: ‘There are so many cameras at these games, you won’t get away with anything like that.”

I’m not convinced. Greeff, the kind who runs the 110m hurdles in international times and became a scratch golfer in two years, is on the bench.

He appears unrepentant, saying: ‘Rugby is a dirty game. If you don’t like it, get out.”

Joost van der Westhuizen, the most experienced Bok in history, says: ‘The South African public won’t accept defeat against England.” As he played a vital part in setting Jannie de Beer up for those devastating drop goals in the 1999 quarterfinal win over England in Paris, Van der Westhuizen is worth listening to.

Ask him how, after a year of race rows and internal strife, he honestly expects to strike back against the hated Empire, Van der Westhuizen simply says: ‘I feel it in my heart. And I see it in the guys around me.”

The English players will utter none of these lovely pre-match sound bites. In fact, there are times when you wonder if they have hearts, so robotic and wooden is their preparation.

For months now we have been waiting for this one. Clive Woodward, growing increasingly tetchy as the week has worn on, says: ‘This is my biggest game since 1999. The Grand Slam in Dublin and the wins in Wellington and Melbourne are history now. Computers may rate us the best side in the world [South Africa are sixth] but computers don’t win rugby matches.”

The big fear for Bok fans? Louis Koen’s kicking can’t possibly match Wilkinson’s. He was poor against Uruguay, missing countless conversions. And those points will be vital.

The big fear for England supporters? Wilkinson’s psyche. He uses words like ‘fear”, ‘worry” and ‘anxiety” throughout his press conferences. He appears to be man living on the edge of a catastrophic disaster. Kicking a rugby ball has become his life. Everyone says he loves living like that, but it worries me.

But hey, the weather is so chilly it’s warmer in London, the pitch is nothing like as hard as billed and I’m sitting here at the Subiaco Oval watching England go through their paces.

There are worse places to be, as many South African emigrants have discovered.

There will be a capacity 43 000 here on Saturday night, many of them fanatical ex-Bokke, thousands of them English tourists. The neutral Aussies differ on who they’ll shout for.

As an Englishman who spent 15 years in South Africa, I’m going for a narrow England victory, by about two Wilkinson penalties.

But as Woodward says: ‘All this talking counts for nothing. I don’t care what the South Africans are saying. It all comes down to 80 minutes on a rugby field.”

Amen.