I visited Highbury for the umpteenth time on Tuesday with the towering youths who infest my house, masquerading as children. After watching the table-topping Gunners slide to a 1-0 defeat in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal, their first loss in 30 games on the domestic scene, I came to three entirely logical conclusions.
First, the youth of today listen to shocking music. Every second word sounds like ‘fukaâ€. What’s wrong with Fleetwood Mac, The Commodores and Abba?
Second, London’s public transport system is awful and will never survive the planned 2012 Olympic bid. The entire underground system came to a halt because 31 000 disgruntled Arsenal fans wanted to go home together.
Third, Arsenal without Thierry Henry tend to float like a bee and sting like a butterfly. The Gunners sans Henry are like the West Indies without Brian Lara, formula one without Michael Schumacher, the Jackson Five without … you get my drift.
Manchester United have Ruud van Nistelrooy. And they’ve just completed a £12-million move for Louis Saha. Then they’ve got former Sunderland striker David Bellion, the ageless Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and the dodgy Diego Forlan.
Chelsea have Adrian Mutu, Hernan Crespo, Eidur Gudjohnsen and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, in no particular order. They also have Mikhael Forssell and Carlton Cole out on loan at Birmingham and Charlton. Arsenal have King Henry. And that’s it.
Oh, they have creative artists. There’s Nigerian Nwankwo Kanu, the aged non-flying Dutchman, Dennis Bergkamp, and the injured Sylvain Wiltord. But goal-getters? There’s the promising young Frenchman Jeremie Aliadiere and on Tuesday they unveiled a flicky, tricky Nigerian called Quincy Owusu-Abeyie.
Beyond Henry, midfielder Robert Pires appears to be Arsenal’s only consistent scorer this season. As a disappointed Arsene Wenger said of what was basically a reserve side after Tuesday’s defeat: ‘The young players did well but we were a little bit lightweight up front.â€
In other words, without Henry, Arsenal will struggle. They are always one injury away from disaster.
For that reason, Arsenal have made a reported £20-million bid for Seville’s Jose Reyes (20) — or is it £7-million?
Or is the real target Feyenoord’s Robin van Persie, another 20-year-old? Or Barcelona’s experienced Dutchman Patrick Kluivert? Yup, the agents know Arsenal cannot win the four trophies they are challenging for — Premiership, FA Cup, Carling Cup and Champions League — without snapping up another striker during the January transfer window.
But is it too late? Watch this space. And if you’re an Arsenal fan, pray.