/ 29 January 2004

The truth behind conspiracy theories

I tend to get massively irked at those simple types, many of whom are employed in local media, who know little or nothing about political science, intelligence or counter-intelligence history. Ditto the public who mindlessly repeat whatever the media suggests is truth, especially when the concept of ‘conspiracy theories’ come up. But the truth is hidden in plain sight and the real conspiracy theories are right in front of us. Take a thoughtful read of this article from the Spectator, called I Believe In Conspiracies.

Things might get a little hot in New York in the next week or two. Hotter by a few million degrees, in fact. The FBI pulled the website, but the information got out regardless. Apparently al-Qaeda announced that they intend to nuke New York on or by February 2nd. You read it here first. Read Al-Qaeda threaten Feb 2nd NY nuke.

If you’re callous and getting bored with the badly drawn signs of the starving at almost every traffic light these days, why not direct them towards what can be done with some chalk and talent, as can be seen at Master Pavement Artist.

Alternatively, looking objectively at how little ‘democracy’ has helped South Africa feed, house or employ its people, why not ignore the entire political process altogether? (Despite the propaganda adverts on TV, it is also your democratic right to deliberately avoid voting or registration altogether, and feel no guilt at all). So don’t be suckered into anything — such as those new First National Bank adverts trying to get you to give them your cellphone number, supposedly for convenience, but in reality so they can resell the phone numbers to spammers.) This all leads into something much nicer than local grimy politics. What’s better than an insane person in an orange suit? How about an insane Frenchman in said orange gear? Or even better, what about an insane Frenchman in an orange outfit, playing Beethoven using the bicycle horns glued to his outfit? You see? Much more fun than lousy banks or stupid politics. Check out Mad Frenchman Playing Beethoven With Bicycle Horns.

For those of you dumb enough to actually think that diet cold drinks are healthy, take a close look at the contents of that can (or of that ‘artificial sweetener’ you’re pouring into your coffee). There’s a chemical called Aspartame (aka ‘Nutrasweet’) inside, which is a quiet killer that will almost certainly cause you brain damage. Read about Aspartame A History of Fraud and Deception.

Then for those I didn’t insult above, but who are equally dumb enough to believe the rubbish about McDonald’s being ‘nutritious’, consider this. A documentary filmmaker decided to put the McDonald’s nutrition-claims to the test, and for just one month he ate only at Mcdonald’s … then filmed the results on himself. It took him just thirty days to put on 25 pounds in body fat. Read about the story and the documentary, titled Super Size.

Cool mind-bending news item you may have missed. Scientists have already implanted a small brain-to-computer interphase in monkeys, allowing the creatures to move a cursor around on a PC. (Look at Cyberkinetics.) This concept, which is rather Matrix-like with its ‘plugging into the skull’ approach is called BrainGate, and the next step is about to happen, with trials beginning on humans. Give it a decade and at last we can probably have both overt mind control and more importantly perhaps the real 3D virtual porn we’ve always wanted. Read the Wired Magazine article Transforming Deeds To Thoughts.

Remember the movie The Truman Show? The concept of a character who’s on TV throughout his entire life, just came once step closer towards being reality. There’s a new reality TV show that, provided the viewers stay watching, could be on for years. The plotline is simple: A bunch of people taken to a luxury resort and then just watched as they do whatever it is that occurs to them. for as long as viewers keep watching. Added to this, various nasty surprises, the odd person from their past popping up and the chance of being kicked out at the whim of the producers, and you have Forever Eden.

Are you fast? Brave? Have more IQ than a chicken? (Okay, this cuts out most of the current government and just about anyone who ever paid attention to Idols). But if you fit the criteria listed, then maybe the folks in Key West Florida could use your expertise — they’re getting overrun by wild chickens, and are looking for a chicken catcher. I’m not kidding. Read Key West chicken problem.

Being a well-adjusted European, I’ve never really understood the weird fetish that makes the more easily manipulated women in society, shave, wax and remove hair from just about every place you can think of in the misguided belief that this will make them appear somehow ‘more attractive’. I’m going to be fine, but you’re going to need to get used to seeing hairy women again. Why? Read and pass onto the females in your life Deodorants plus shaving linked to breast cancer.

So what’s worse than streaking through a restuarant for the hell of it? How about leaving your car outside ready to dive into to make a fast getaway after your streak … and then having the car stolen, along with your clothing. Proof that the Fates have a sense of humour, read Streaker’s car stolen.

Regular readers will have noticed my cheerful enjoyment of sumo wrestling as one of the few sports I’ll bother to watch. It appeals to my sense of the surreal — having two 400 pound men trying to push each other outside of a circle. Now that’s a real entertainment-based analogy of the human condition, expressed in a stupid, bizarre and faintly repulsive visual spectacle. Point is that the Americans are getting fatter, and instead of realizing that eating like pigs means obesity, they’re trying to make fat into something positive. Guess how. Yup, Sumo wrestling has come to the US. Read this CBS column titled ‘Fat and Fit’.

Given that Haiti is the ANC’s idea of a positive functioning country, I couldn’t resist from pointing you towards this in-depth online look at the country that Thabo presumably would like us to one day resemble. Go browse Haiti — The eroding nation.

Revisionist history time. Read this little news item on the fact that during WW2, the RAF ‘ignored’ the concentration camps: RAF ignored Auschwitz. And then if you want more info on the whos and whats of Auschwitz, go browse The Auschwitz Museum.

Gear change. As I could have told you, Nasa pulled the plug on the Spirit lander on Mars — or rather, they’ve said they’re experiencing problems. A nice way of saying ‘We’re behind schedule in faking and altering the images we’ve been receiving’. Have a look at Mars Image Tampering.

But Nasa is beginning to run scared, given that other nations are getting into the space act. Notice how suddenly after a number of missions, and despite massive quantities of satellite images, it’s the European space agency who discover Ice On Mars, and Water On Mars, and Mars Ice.

And in a similar vein, the commercial plundering of other worlds has begun. Read this article from Petroleum News about Haliburton who intends to be drilling for oil and minerals on Mars within a decade. Read Drilling On Mars.

Then finally, for those happy dirty-minded souls who enjoyed previous weeks ‘rude place names’, here’s the next in this ongoing search for depravity. When I say the names ‘fukalite’, ‘arsole’ or ‘erotic acid’,you shouldn’t get upset — these are just some of the goodies to be found at Molecules With Silly Or Unusual Names.

Until the next time, if McDonald’s don’t get me.