Parliament’s slip shows
Oom Krisjan knows how unpalatable an unpalatable task can be. Such as when a recalcitrant mare needs to be inseminated. But never do the manne of the Marico shirk their duties. So it was with sympathy that the Oom saw the task a Parliamentary ad hoc committee had been given: to judge right and wrong in the battle between the Protector and the Prosecutor, who both seem to have pre-eminent political personalities ranged behind them. A klip and a harde plek, is what they say here.
After two weeks or so of painstaking debate, the committee came up with a report this week. An uncorrected draft read: ”In considering the report, the committee strove to endure [sic] that the integrity of Parliament is upheld.”
Yes, Oom Krisjan knows the committee had been given a tough task, and he also knows that Parliament has been accused before of shirking its duties — its lack of oversight during the arms deal saga being a case in point. But is the duty to uphold one’s integrity really that onerous? The Oom invites all MPs to the Marico for a free lesson or two.
Licking …
Us plaasjapies often have a better way with words than our city brethren. Take, for example, the Lowveld funerary shop called ”Cosy Coffins”. Or the establishment thereabouts that advertises ”new and used antiques”. But what takes the cherry, so to speak, must be a Lowveld purveyor of finger-licken’ fast foods calling itself ”Lek-A-Chick”.
Oom Krisjan believes that commercial freedom of speech has its limits and that it may be time for the Gender Commission to step in.
… and licked
Staying with the tenor and topo-graphy of the aforesaid, regular readers may know that Steve Mabona, the ex-esteemed public works minister of Mamparalanga, is suing the Mail & Guardian for alleged defamation. He wants millions in damages.
May Oom Krisjan point Mabona (now an ordinary member of the provincial legislature) in a better direction for a nest egg?
In awarding M&G reporters Wisani wa ka Ngobeni and Matuma Letsoalo CNN’s MK Abiola print journalism award at the weekend, the international broadcaster’s Jeff Koinange congratulated them for exposing this ”most corrupt of politicians”. Now there’s a McMabona meal ticket …
McFeketo
And speaking of meal tickets, Cape Town’s big-cheese mayor, Nomaindia Mfeketo, has been feeling generous. She gave businessman Tokyo Sexwale a R36-million discount on a property in Big Bay, Blouberg, reports ThisDay. The Oom is glad to see there is still some socialism in those Mfeketo bones. Telling the free market to bogger off, she sold the property to Sexwale for R115-million when others offered the (cash-strapped) municipality R151-million.
Reason? He’s disempowered. Now the manne want to know this: Is that the same Tokyo who showed off his Franschhoek estate to the nation on Top Billing a fortnight ago?
Kremlin sold
While Mfeketo may have difficulty embracing the free market, the former home of socialism seems to have no such problem. While the manne arrive at the Dorsbult in their Hiluxes to order Klippies and Coke, they well know what DaimlerChrysler and Hennessey stand for.
The Guardian reports that these purveyors of luxuries are among the members of the ”Guild of Kremlin Suppliers”, a select group of companies that — for an unspecified (but presumably hefty) fee, among other criteria — will be allowed to sport the Kremlin’s crest and state that they have been ”admitted for use in the official residence of the president of the Russian Federation”.
Viktor Khrekov, the spokesperson for the Presidential Logistics Department, was quoted as saying: ”Our first aim is to improve the standards of quality for national producers …”
Which, of course, does not explain the inclusion of multinational companies among the guild’s membership. But may Oom Krisjan propose a similar scheme to set standards for our local produce? Marico mampoer — fit for Mbeki.
Tut-tut
The other day the Dorsbult had run dry and the manne, with nothing better to do, went down to the local video shop in search of entertainment. The only new offering was a recording of Ronald Reagan’s funeral, seemingly pirated from CNN.
There were many heads of state and the usual pomp and pretence, but little promise of entertainment. Until George Bush Snr warmed to the topic of Reagan’s alleged sense of humour. In an attempt to illustrate this, Bush said: ”I asked him [Reagan], ‘How was your meeting with Bishop [Desmond] Tutu?’ He said it was ‘so-so’.”
The American culture being what it is, there was a wave of cackles among the funeral-goers.
And, Oom Krisjan has to admit, even some of the manne had to suppress a momentary urge to laugh.
But suppress they did, for reasons that should be clear. Said Oom Schalk: ”Tutu will ensure that none of them gets through the Pearly Gates — considering that the donners supported the apartheid regime.”
Matter of fact, of fact
The Financial Mail (FM) this week showed the manne at the Dorsbult Bar why it does generally not, and in fact should not, cover sports. Last week, in its roundup of the week’s events, it reported that Manning Rangers had won the Absa Cup by beating Moroka Swallows 3-1. Swallows had, in fact, beaten Rangers 3-1.
This week, in a bid to atone, FM printed the following: ”The Absa Cup was won 3-1 by Manning Rangers, not Moroka Swallows, as reported last week.”
Poor Swallows had to swallow their pride two weeks running. The manne hope FM‘s company results are more accurate.