True meaning of empowerment
Lemmer was impressed by the appointment of Kholeka Mzondeki as general manager for corporate services at Mintek. That is because Mzondeki brings impeccable credentials to her job. A United Kingdom-qualified chartered accountant, she was a financial director for sticky-tape manufacturer 3M’s sub-Saharan operation. But the release also states that she has worked at Rand Merchant Bank, and ”Eskom, the water utilities corporation”. Presumably, she knows how to turn water into electricity.
Honk if you like it
Lemmer would like to alert those who don’t believe in settling nasty little motoring disputes with a burst of gunfire to a new website. At www.roadhogs.co.za one can report road hogs (with their registration numbers, descriptions, where they were and what they did), look up one’s own registration number, see statistics for the cities with the most offenders, get the country’s top 10 road hogs, and so on.
Oi Vey
Classic FM listeners were concerned that there might be troubles in the synagogues of the Eastern Cape this week. This was after a news item about a vicious attack of ”rabbis’ disease” plaguing the region. The presenter (and the same newsreader) had to spend the better part of an hour reassuring callers and listeners that what was meant was ”rabies”. It was an understandable error, they insisted.
Yebo nostalgia
There’s nothing quite as pathetic — nor as easily parted from his pounds — as a homesick boer, as English TV executives have discerned. So Sky TV is launching New South African Television (NSat) which, despite its name, is not very new South Africa at all.
Lemmer hears that it’s not Yizo Yizo or even Isidingo that prospective viewers want — they have requested Vyfster, Maak ‘n Las, Sewende Laan, Orkney Snork nie and Spies & Plessis. And to complete their viewing experience these sad, sad folk want old South African adverts from Castle Lager, Vodacom and Nando’s.
Heated apology
Oom Krisjan is surprised that none of our smart Alec readers seem to have picked up a classic literal in last week’s Mail & Guardian editorial about the Sudan. It included a call ”to identify and prosecute all government officials for warm crimes …” This raises interesting possibilities of interpretation, most of them rather sleazy. Would a ”warm crime” be an occasion for hot pursuit?
Dot ball
It’s not often that Lemmer is the recipient of a letter from such an esteemed copier as Darrel Bristow-Bovey, so he thought he’d share this week’s missive:
”Dear Krisjan Lemmer,
While I am obviously surprised, flattered and delighted to find that after all these years you still follow my writing as closely and as enthusiastically as ever, I’m sure you won’t mind if I correct a slight misreading. In your last edition (July 23), you suggest that my most recent article in SA Cricket argues that the laws of cricket should be changed to allow ‘chucking’. That’s not entirely true.
”The article simply traced the meandering evolution of the laws governing the bowling action, noting that at one time the practice of delivering the ball overarm, for instance, was considered with as much fear and loathing as bending the elbow is today — and observing that there is nothing essential to the game of cricket about delivering the ball with a perfectly straight elbow. Indeed, recent ICC [International Cricket Council] research using super-slow-motion technology has revealed that 100% of fast and medium-pace bowlers deliver the ball with some degree of involuntary and — to the naked eye — imperceptible flexing. The only thing that everyone is still arguing about is the degree of flexion that is permissible. I merely predicted that the laws will be changed to tolerate a slightly greater degree of flexion, and suggested that that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, if it evens out the contest between bat and ball — historically so skewed toward the batsman.
”So not quite the same as saying that chucking should be allowed. It’s a small detail, I know, but I am sure that with your passion for fairness and accuracy in journalism, you won’t mind me pointing that out.”
Not at all, Darrel. In the same spirit Oom would like to point out certain similarities between your column on the South African Sports Fan song (http://www.tiscali.co.za/news/ news_story.jsp?content=122206) and Tom Eaton’s piece on the same subject published in this newspaper about 10 days previously.
Googolly
One of those totally useless bits of information that Lemmer collects as though they were diamonds: Internet search engine Google, which crashed this week on the eve of its £20-billion listing, is named after the mathematical term ”googol” for the number one followed by 100 zeros.
Slow learner
How the worm turns. The Daily Mail, the English newspaper that helped fast-track ons eie Zola Budd from Bloemfontein outcast to ”Brit” tripping Mary Decker in Los Angeles in 1984, is in a froth about Malachi Davis, who has gone from being the 26th-fastest 400m athlete in the United States to British Olympic hopeful. ”Californian carpetbagger,” it sneered. But the tabloid might have a point. The London Evening Standard gave poor Malachi a nationality test. ”Who is the prime minister?” ”Blake, Blaine, pass.” ”England football captain?” Pass again. ”Britain’s two main political parties?” Don’t know. ”Where is Wales?” Haven’t a clue.
Lemmer believes even the 18-year-old Zola would have fared better.