/ 29 July 2005

Foreign ministers show their funny side

United States Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick belted out “Oh my darling Clementine”, Australia’s foreign minister asked for a date, and the Russians adopted a Star Wars look.

Foreign ministers performing skits at an Association of South-East Asian Nations (Asean) dinner in Vientiane brought levity to a week of heavy meetings.

“It’s now or never,” crooned Australia’s Alexander Downer to officials and foreign ministers from 10 South-East Asian nations and their dialogue partners late on Thursday.

“Let’s consummate, fulfil the promise, a summit date,” he sang to whistles and laughter.

Downer this week committed Australia to Asean’s Treaty of Amity and Cooperation (TAC), reversing an earlier stance and securing a place at a summit that could lead to the creation of a new East Asian community.

“Only yesterday, the TAC did not rate, and just in time, I’ve changed my mind … it’s great,” he sang, his delegation twirling blue feather boas behind him.

Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs Pierre Pettigrew wore dark sunglasses to lead a black-suited “rat-pack” that teased the Australians.

“Australia wants in … their way of saying they’re not really Yanks,” he sang.

“Take down tariffs and open up trade … in Asean style, it could be delayed, but so what?” he continued.

The Japanese, pushing to host the Rugby World Cup in 2011, tossed around a rugby ball. With regional giants like Japan as partners, the Asean team can “stand tall and catch the high ball”, they said.

Wrapped in a cloak evoking the Jedi characters from Star Wars and brandishing a plastic sword, Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs Sergei Lavrov spoke of the discovery of a new planet called the Association of Supposedly Extraordinarily Agreeable Nations — a jibe about fundamental Asean principle of consensus.

Zoellick wrapped up the evening with a low-key performance, his delegation standing stiffly by in cowboy costumes.

The skits are a regular feature of a gala dinner for the Asean foreign ministers and the major powers with which they hold a dialogue.

The dinners are normally closed to the media, but Lao television this year broadcast the entire show live on national television. — AFP