Chicago, the musical, now dancing on the Cape leg of its local tour, is at once a celebration of the exceptional talent and artistic skill in our country, and an indictment on our paucity of vision. For there can be no other reason (other than a few million bucks to get if off the ground) why we should not be exporting a city-named musical — for example, Bloemfontein — to six international cities simultaneously.
At the heart of Chicago is a crime story. We do crime pretty well, so it’s not like we’ll be short on possible plots. If crime is a turn-off for tourists, then we should be creative and take crime to the tourists — even if only in musicals — and so generate the foreign income that we might be losing from tourists deciding rather to go to London as a safer option (snigger).
“Murder, greed, corruption, exploitation, adultery, treachery … all those things we hold near and dear to our hearts” could be a reference to the taxi industry or our rugby administrators, but it’s actually the pay-off line for Chicago.
But it really could also be a description for Bloemfontein, a musical just waiting to be written. With the mayor, his wife and a few senior officials having been arrested for alleged fraud recently, Bloemfontein: The Musical would feature high-kicking dancers and kick-backing politicians, supple performers portraying leaders with equally supple morals.
But if I were an impresario, I would be beating down the door of Mrs Nokwanda Ngombane to sign the rights to her story about the “assassination” of her husband, Noby Ngombane, a former adviser to the premier of the Free State.
From media reports, the story has all the hallmarks of a great musical thriller. Noby alienates many in senior government positions through his alleged arrogance and “restructuring” process. He is shot and killed in the driveway of his family home. Newspapers carry reports of his alleged womanising. Ngombane — the missus — alleges at his funeral that he was assassinated by political foes.
Weeks later, Nokwanda — personal assistant to the premier — is arrested along with some of her family members for the murder of her husband. Can you just hear the Chicago number … “He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame”. Bloemfontein: This Musical, to be continued.
The only problem with naming a musical after one of our country’s cities is that it is quite possible for the name of the city to be changed during the run of the musical.
Imagine, for example, Pretoria: The Musical running on six different continents, providing work for hundreds of artists, suddenly having to be cancelled because now it’s Tshwane: The Choir. I suppose it could always be replaced with another local musical, Phantom of the Public Protector.
Talking of musicals, can anyone tell us what happened to Nepad: The Musical, the song-and-dance work that the Department of Arts and Culture donated an “eight-figure” sum towards?
Rumours have it that this African Renaissance musical has itself died, and is unlikely to be revived. Perhaps there’s a musical — with many false notes — in that?