Mary Kimani has searched for love at weddings and even funerals.
Finally, tired of waiting for love in the conservative East African nation of Kenya, she broke with tradition and joined Kenya’s first dating website, hoping to meet someone who will send her chocolate and roses on Valentine’s Day.
”I haven’t been lucky finding a friend, so I thought I would try the internet,” Kimani (25) says in the capital, Nairobi. ”I am almost giving up hope I’ll ever find a partner.”
Finding love, however, is not cheap. The beautician pays 200 shillings ($2,80) a month for the service in a country where about half of the estimated 34-million people live on less than $1 a day.
”Everyone deserves some love this Valentine’s,” Lovepot.com declares on its home page, with small, pink hearts floating down the screen. Erastus Wachira, who co-founded the site launched in July, said nearly 16 000 people have joined, with about 9 000 active members.
With evocative sunsets, breathtaking safari getaways and tropical beaches, Kenya has to be one of the most romantic destinations on Earth. That, however, does not translate into easy romance.
”We just thought we should give people another option of finding love,” says Wachira (30).
Traditionally, parents and relatives chose a husband or wife for young Kenyans.
”But that culture is getting eroded, bit by bit, especially among the 25- to 40-year-olds,” Wachira says.
Some radio stations that broadcast in local languages also help the lovelorn. Listeners call in and leave their contacts and descriptions of their ideal partner.
”In the traditional sense, marriages were negotiated by families, not by individuals,” says Paul Mbatia, head of sociology at the Nairobi University. ”We are increasingly making this issue an individual affair, rather than a community affair.”
”The risk is that it would bring people together who do not really know each other. They know each other through what has been posted, but it may not actually be true or it may only be true subjectively,” Mbatia says. ”It is like in marketing, where you say this product does A, B, and C. But the question is: What is it that it doesn’t do?”
Setting up a business that seeks to break centuries-old traditions was not easy. Parents, friends and others said it was a bad idea, said Wachira, an IT expert.
Still, he and his partner pumped about 400 000 shillings ($5 600) into the site for hosting fees, start-up expenses and advertisement.
About 1 200 new subscribers now join the online dating service every week. This includes a growing number of Kenyan professionals who work long hours and have trouble finding love. Others are people unable to find romance at social gatherings. Some simply do not want to take chances at nightclubs or let parents choose a partner, Wachira said.
The site offers insight into Kenyans’ tastes and hopes.
A woman who goes by the online name of Fauna knows what she wants in a man and is willing to list it all.
”Handsome, financially stable, outgoing, industrious, loving, understanding, Christian, loves to have fun, non-smoker, drinks casually, loves the gym, wants to settle down eventually and we can support each other to achieve our individual goals,” the 30-year-old says in her posting.
The service is also popular in neighbouring Rwanda, Tanzania and Ethiopia — countries that do not have local dating websites, Wachira says.
South Africa has Positive Connection, the only online dating forum for people with HIV, the virus that causes Aids. Itzamatch helps Zambians find dates.
”We are getting used to communicating very fast. We are breeding boys and girls who are used to being efficient at processing information and getting quick results,” says sociologist Mbatia. — Sapa-AP