Since London began enforcing its central congestion zone, motorists have been coughing up for the right to drive and park in the heart of town. But some motorists — those in bullet-proof Beemers — still think English law doesn’t apply to them. According to The Independent, among the worst repeat offenders in terms of not paying- congestion tariffs and fines are foreign embassies. A list of the top 10 most fiendish rogues is headed by the United Arab Emirates, but that cash-strapped country is followed by no fewer than nine African countries, including our own. Vengeance for centuries of exploitation? At £8 a day, vengeance could be a dish served extremely cold when it finally arrives …
Sies
It’s been days since the Receiver unveiled its new online tax forms, but the manne still can’t look at the Web address without blushing. Somehow that first ‘s’ in www.sarsefiling.gov.za just seems to melt away …
Vive le morons!
You may not be able to buy class, but you can certainly spell yourself some. Consider Spoornet’s new luxury service between Jozi and the Visdorp, curiously named ”Premier Classe”. Ja nee, that faux continental vowel grafted onto the end just oozes glamour. In fact, it’s time the parastatal renamed all its services: Le Piquant Sardine for rush-hour urban lines, Le Grande Concussion for mid-morning muggings on empty township lines, and of course Le Mort Invisible, for those flung out of unmonitored Spoornet coaches.
Another flight of pigs
A report released this week by Zimbabwe’s Central Statistical Office insists that the country’s unemployment rate in 2004 was 9%. Official sources say next year’s report will reveal that Robert Mugabe is 36, likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, and is looking for a slim, discreet, sexy and fun-loving Swiss bank to share good times with.
You mean Elvis is dead?
Oom Krisjan doesn’t listen to the popular music wireless a lot, but apparently he’s not missing out on cutting-edge youth culture opinion. On Saturday night, while tinkering with his equipment out in the radio shack behind the Dorsbult Bar, he accidentally tuned into Visdorp station Kfm, and was astonished to hear that chest-hair icon David Hasselhoff ”is apparently singing these days”. Given that The Hoff has been rocking his legion of German fans for almost 20 years, Lemmer wonders whether Kfm listeners will cope with the news that the Beatles have split up.