The manne were denouncing hypocrites left and right this week when they heard that plans are afoot to build a R90-million wall around the president’s Pretoria residence, but Lemmer supports Mr Mbeki entirely. After all, the man has refused to indulge in empty theaÂÂtrical gestures in the fight against crime, and a plain, utilitarian wall is as un-theatrical as it gets. Scripted, maybe, but not theatrical. (Book now for the Dorsbult Players in an adaptation of Beckett, entitled Waiting for Thabo, in which two existentialists wait in vain for the flying squad to arrive.)
Not Watergate
Bheki Cele, Transport MEC in KwaZulu-Natal and apparently a student of American history, said this week that he had ”not ruled out” the possibility that the burglary at his home in posh Umhlanga was politically motivated. According to Cele, the tricky dicks who nicked his laptop were clearly after information rather than loot, as evidenced by various documents of his that had been rifled through. ”Most documents were upside down, suggesting that somebody had gone through those,” he said. Lemmer thinks he’s cracked the case. Documents left lying upside down in disarray? Total confusion? Could it be that Cele has suffered a house call from home affairs?
Silent night
On Tuesday motorists were warned that a truck near Bethlehem was leaking highly inflammable propane gas. Good thing no one flicked a Bic, or we might have had Tweede Kersfees thanks to another bright light in the sky over Bethlehem …
Who he?
Just days after a colleague called for forced removals in Hout Bay, DA provincial leader in the Western Cape Theuns Botha continued to shower his party in glory by reacting to the proposed renaming of Cape Town International Airport with complete ignorance. ”Who is James la Guma?” asked man-of-the-people Botha. ”I know nothing about James la Guma.” Apparently he doesn’t know much about diplomacy either. Maybe time to walk quietly and carry a big encyclopedia, hey Theuns?
Billions and billions
ANC Youth League President Fikile Mbalula has never been short of superlatives, but this week he topped them all. Afrikaner self-determination was simply a facade for a Volkstaat, he wrote in his latest online letter, and that said Volkstaat was an abomination that would ”never happen on South African soil in a billion years!” Ah, Fikile, never underestimate a determined secessionist. Lemmer reckons that even now there are Boer prophets seeing a Volkstaat springing up in a billion and one years from now.