In the United States public speaking toppled death in the surveys of what people fear most. In Britain, I’m told, the terror of public speaking comes second only to the fear of spiders.
A few months ago my daughter, Tessa, in anticipation of giving her wedding speech, asked for my help. She remembered me talking about “anchoring” a state of being.
At best anchors should be ready to assist you to face unforeseen challenges. Anchoring works on the basis of association, something that triggers particular memories. We do it all the time. When I smell White Linen perfume I think of a late friend who would always visit bringing this perfume as a gift for me. The smell of hot yellow vanilla custard takes me back to school dinners at primary school. Neroli oil reminds me of a particular reflexologist.
The stimulus can be a smell, a sound, a sight, a feeling or a taste. That now obsolete sound of typewriter keys used to take my mom straight back to World War II and into a state of high anxiety. Think of a melody, a piece of music that transports you to another time and place, that calls to mind a person or a feeling.
Up to now I’m describing triggers that have unconsciously taken up residence in our minds on an ad-hoc basis. But supposing you could design triggers, unique to you, that could serve you to summon the desired state of being on an as-needed basis. How powerful could that be?
It is possible. In neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) such a trigger is referred to as an “anchor” and defined as “a stimulus which triggers a specific physiological or emotional state of behaviour”. The triggers described above were “involuntary anchors” but it is possible to create “designer anchors”.
So how would you set about crafting a “designer anchor” for yourself? It might be challenging to do it on your own; it may be easier to be talked through the process with a friend or a coach. A coaching colleague talked me through the way she does it with her coaching clients.
Let’s choose “performance” as the desired state, the need to step into that circular “spotlight” and be calm, self-possessed and able to deliver with aplomb. Ready and Burton in Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies call this the “circle of excellence”.
Draw a circle with chalk on the ground. If chalk and ground are not at your disposal, improvise. You need a defined area that you can step into and step out of.
Next you need to identify a time in your life when you experienced the desired state that you wish to anchor. It may help to give this memory a name. Begin to describe the remembered experience as fully as possible using all your senses: I hear this, I see that. I smell. I feel. Then step into your “circle” and relive that experience vividly.
And while you’re reliving that moment, select something that you can associate with that experience. It can be an image that you will be able to bring to mind in an instant. You have to design this. It has to be something you can do that will summon the associated feeling as and when you need it. Once you’re “anchored” step out of the “circle” and shake yourself off, as though you have been caught in rain. You’re “breaking state” in NLP terms.
Some coaches get their clients to choose more memories and repeat the process so as to repeat the anchoring with more examples.
Some people I know install different anchors for different states. The state of calm is different from performance or assertiveness. To be able to craft different anchors for different states you have to work on a memory bank; you have to describe in as much detail as possible the relived experience for each of the states that you wish to anchor.
Like anything else, you need embedded practice to make it stick. But also be careful of overuse. If you were to summon “performance” too often, using the anchor as a Red Bull energy boost, you may burn out.