Big brands — for all their global reach, years of experience and highly paid vice-presidents — can often cock it up. And more often than not, the reason for the stuff-up is a myopic world view driven by their home market. In other words, it’s a “we make this product, our countrymen love this product, therefore the rest of the world will love it too” attitude.
Sure, if you have the right product, it can be a successful approach. Take the baguette for example. The French love it — and so does the rest of the world. Why? Because as long, thin crispy breads go, this is about as good as it gets. If I’m in the mood for a long, thing crispy bread, a baguette is right at the top of my shopping list.
So if I was in the market for two-door coupé, would a Renault Laguna Coupé be at the top of my shopping list? It, too, is French and one could assume I like French stuff, right?
“No” is the short answer. Frog legs are also French.
My baguette appreciation has more to do with the fact that it’s better than anything else on offer in the long, crispy bread segment, and doesn’t make too big a dent on my wallet.
The problem with the Laguna Coupé is that there are some very impressive vehicles in this niche and all in the same price ballpark.
Don’t get me wrong, the Laguna is a decent car with a lot going for it. And top of that list is its handling. Thanks to its 4Control four-wheel steering system — which has the rear wheels counter-steering the front wheels at low speeds for parking-garage balletics, but pointing in the same direction as the front ones at high speeds — the car exhibits genuinely impressive handling skills. Not unlike Franck Ribery dodging the press at OR Tambo while running to catch his flight back to Paris. (Gratuitous World Cup metaphor I know. But everyone’s doing it.)
The looks aren’t too bad either. A bit of an acquired taste, it must be said. There are a bunch of pleasing elements — the side profile, the muscular rump and the front grille. But also some odd bits — the head lights and the step-up lip on the boot. And it’s these bits that all push the Laguna Coupé into “quirky” territory rather than the “svelte” I suspect they might’ve been aiming for. I see elements of Jaguar XF (the back), and XK (rear pillar), Aston Martin (the grille), Clio (headlights) … and Raymond Domenech (silvery grey paint job).
Into the fun-o-sphere and back again
Two things let the side down, though — and unfortunately they’re two things its competitors are rather good at.
One: the engine. On paper the 3,5-litre V6 seems a good bet. After all, this is the engine that propelled the Nissan 350Z into the fun-o-sphere and back again. Unfortunately re-fettled for the Laguna Coupe and shackled to an awfully slow auto box, the car simply feels disappointingly sluggish. Not surprising, given that in 350Z guise the engine pushed out 230kw compared with 177kW in the Laguna Coupé. The car will hunker down and sprint pretty quickly but one has to plant one’s right foot and keep it there for a second or two before anything happens. The kindest way to describe the Laguna Coupé would be as a GT cruiser rather than a sports car.
Two: the interior is merely okay. It appears to tick all the boxes — leather, quality plastics — but when one thinks of what, for example, an Audi A5 interior looks and feels like, it’s clear who’s busking and who’s the real deal in this head-to-head design showdown.
And it’s with the Audi’s sleek coupé that I will end this review, for this is what the Renault is competing against — R499 900 will buy you the Laguna Coupé. And R455 000 will buy you an Audi A5 2,0 TFSi Quattro S-tronic. Sure this bottom-of-the-range A5 with its 150Kw 2,0-litre turbo might push out 27Kw less than the Renault, but it feels palpably sharper and way more fun to drive.
To get back to my original point then, the grand fromages at Renault must be dreaming if they think anyone outside of la belle France is going to choose the Laguna Coupé over the likes of the A5 and BMW’s 325i Coupe at R444 500. The Laguna Coupé is a good car with attractively quirky looks, but it simply can’t compete in this price bracket. Lop off R90 000 and I reckon you’ve got yourself a seller, mon ami.
Fast Facts: Renault Laguna Coupé
Price: R499 900
Engine: 3498cc V6 petrol
Power: 177kW at 6 000rpm
Torque: 330Nm from 4 400rpm
0-100km/h (claimed): 7,4s
Top speed (claimed): 244km/h
Fuel consumption: 10l/100km (claimed combined)