There’s nothing quite like a celebrity seemingly gone mad to make the world take notice and, inevitably, take the piss. A quick search for Charlie Sheen’s name on Google brings up hundreds of pages dedicated to his most outrageous recent comments, and even serious news sites like the Guardian have posted quizzes, challenging readers to tell the difference between Sheen and that other delusional madman of the moment, Libyan leader Gadaffi.
I was going to join in the fun. I followed him on Twitter when he joined the social networking site this week, hoping, like literally a million others, that my timeline would be filled with funny, ridiculous statements.
Like many, I lacked sympathy for the drug-addled star. Who can sympathise with a megalomaniac who wastes his talent through multiple addictions, repeated general bad behaviour and stunning arrogance? And, honestly, who has never happily mocked a celebrity who has toppled off their lofty perch in such an entertaining fashion?
But then I watched the videos of his recent interviews, in which he has made his most outrageous statements, and something in me shifted, leaving me tetchy and uncomfortable with all the ridicule.
What I saw was a man desperately uncomfortable in his own body, spitting out incoherent thoughts as if he can’t get rid of them fast enough. He shifts in the chair, seemingly unable to sit still, legs bouncing up and down, torso twisting against the backrest.
His eyes are not the vacant, shadowy pits that one would expect from someone who has pickled his brain with alcohol and cocaine and the 7grams of crack that he has recently boasted about. His eyes have an angry intensity that would surely leave most frightened or disturbed if not viewed from the safety of a television or computer screen.
There are many who will recognise that state of being all too well.
I then searched for his name and bipolar disorder. There have been a few articles online that have questioned whether the star suffers from the disorder, and, in one of the interviews, when he is asked whether he perhaps has the disorder, he sweeps the question away with his now notorious “bi-winning!” comment.
Cause for concern
Certainly, his recent behaviour (megalomania, in asking for a spectacular 50% raise when he is already the highest paid star in TV, sexual escapades, too many to mention, addictions, and increasingly erratic behaviour) would give many psychiatrists cause for concern. A casual diagnosis by a professional who watched a video confirmed this as a possibility.
Bipolar disorder is generally misunderstood, sometimes even by those who have been diagnosed with it. Many people are confused by the fact that it used to be known as manic-depression, suggesting that the most obvious symptoms are massive mood swings between two extremes.
In reality, the symptoms are often less obvious, and as a result, it often went undiagnosed in people whose lives were fractured and broken by the disorder. Studies have shown, however, that the perception among psychiatrists that it was so often overlooked in the past has led to a swing towards over-diagnosis now. Everyone seemingly knows someone who is bipolar.
In my experience, many in whom I have confided about my own struggles with the disorder have been met with “oh, so-and-so is bipolar too, so I know exactly what you’re going through”.
I am often met with “oh, I am bipolar too. I mean, I’ve never been diagnosed, but I know I am, so I know what you’re going through”. There is little that has hindered the understanding of the illness, both its symptoms and severity, as much as these flippant diagnoses.
So why do I care? He’s a rich celebrity, who can afford the best treatment there is. If he refuses to accept the possibility that he is unwell, doesn’t he deserve to live with the consequences? And surely, the last thing we need is yet another person who blames their failures on a psychiatric condition. I mean, that’s all anyone seems to do these days, right?
You know the saying that anyone who thinks they are mad is not really mad? Unfortunately, this is a truth that is particularly relevant here. Many people will go to doctors when they are depressed, when they are under a dark fog that leaves them despairing and ineffectual.
Never seek help
But many with bipolar disorder do not experience this at all, and there are many who would never seek help when experiencing the opposite. When you are feeling euphoric, when you believe you are at the top of your game, when everything goes your way and you are at your most brilliant and creative, there seems to be no reason to see a professional. The world seems beautiful, but beneath it all is an ugly, ugly truth.
And that is the ugly truth that I believe I saw on those videos. Your self confidence allows you to ignore the fact that you are embarrassing yourself whenever you open your mouth. Your belief that you are perfect hides the fact that your behavior is obnoxious and abhorrent. Your drug use and sexual escapades, you believe, can have no negative consequences.
For some, the excessive energy leads to an anxious restlessness and blinding white noise that lets one do nothing with the ideas and creativity, that might only be imagined, but that demand to be put to use. This frustration can lead to aggression, as might anyone suggesting that you speak slower, speak more quietly or calm down. Tasks cannot be completed. Insomnia leads to a lack of concentration, even though one might feel energetic. It can leave your life, your job, your relationships, damaged, if not completely broken.
Maybe it’s all a publicity stunt. If so, the stunt seems to be working, because here I am, writing about an American movie star that, until this week, I had never paid attention to. Maybe he is just a very good actor, and all these words will expose me as a fluff-hearted softie without enough cynicism.
But when I remember that he has lost custody of his children, lost his TV show, and lost any shred of respect that the public might have had for him, I can’t believe that the painful rush of recognition that I experienced when watching those interviews could be based on anything but a truth, that this is yet another victim of misunderstood illness that can leave one’s life in shreds, often, most cruelly, when one feels, and says, they are king of the world.
The writer of this article has chosen to remain anonymous