There seems to be a baby boom at the moment. People are having babies all over the place, which is fabulous if you adore babies in general, but not so fabulous if you’re not that keen on them, unless they’re yours or closely related, then you can gaze adoringly at the little miracles for ever. I find that 10 minutes admiring the dinky little fingers and heavenly widgy face and saying, “What a lovely baby”, is about enough for me.

Here comes the No 1 gruesome invention of the century: the bra you wear 1cm under your skin, called Cup&Up. Dr Eyal Gur, head of microsurgery at the Sourasky medical centre in Tel Aviv, has thought up this ghastly procedure, and claims that droves of women are clamouring to have it done for a few thousand dollars.

Women have moaned on about the lack of older women in the media for decades, but now things are getting more desperate. Even deeply beautiful women are being snipped, sliced, stitched up, pumped up, siphoned off — as if there is no life after the first wrinkle.