Storm clouds are gathering around under-pressure coach Clive Woodward after England, incredibly, were seen to have an extra man on the field during their desperate 35-22 win over brave Samoa. World Cup officials are believed to be about to announce an inquiry into the bizarre incident.

After the bravery of the Georgians against South Africa the night before, Namibia simply ran up the white flag against Australia on Saturday. Amid pedantic refereeing and long injury breaks, the Aussies broke several World Cup and Australian records with their 142-0 win.

Remember when Brian O’Driscoll was going to be the all-conquering saviour of Irish rugby? Neither does he. The rugged centre from Leinster has worn the green jersey 43 times, they even made him captain while hooker Keith Wood and his gleaming pate were out injured.

That strange whispering sound you hear is just Clive Woodward shuffling his pack. Actually the England coach has dropped his entire pack, Phil Vickery, Steve Thompson and Trevor Woodman making way for record-breaking Jason Leonard, Mark Regan and Julian White for the game against Samoa on Sunday.

England centre Mike Tindall must know how much he will miss his centre partner Will Greenwood when his team plays against Samoa. Tindall and Greenwood have become the inseparable Laurel and Hardy of England’s back line, a duo blessed with an uncanny understanding … and they generally make us laugh too.

Steve Thompson was surrounded by so many journalists in the Sheraton Hotel, Melbourne tonight, that he joked about losing weight in the sauna-like conditions. But the cuddly England hooker, sent out to face the press pack before Sunday’s penultimate Pool C clash against Samoa, barely broke a sweat as he handled the trickiest of questions.

So Lawrence Dallaglio’s fracas with Thinus Delport did upset the Boks. On Saturday night, after England’s highly-fortunate 26-9 win over South Africa, coach Rudi Straueli dismissed Big Lol’s less-than-full-blooded blow as ”something we should leave to the commissioners and the citing committee.”

Matt Dawson and Richard Hill are out of England’s side to play South Africa tomorrow. After a week of misinformation and rumour, coach Clive Woodward finally admitted defeat on the injury front yesterday, though he was masterfully upbeat about it all.

It’s been a long week for all of us, players, fans and journalists alike, as we prepare for the biggest qualifying game of the 2003 Rugby World Cup. Though I have yet to see anything resembling the scorched earth policy, concentration camps or anybody who looks remotely like Lord Kitchener, some would like to set this game up as a war.