Jose Mourinho is in real trouble now. On March 31, we’ll find out just how much being a bad loser is going to cost his club, Chelsea. The ultimate sanction? Expulsion from the Champions League, which would be perhaps the most remarkable disciplinary step ever taken by Uefa.

When he took over from Sir Bobby Robson earlier in the season, I said Graeme Souness would provide the backbone that Newcastle’s relegation-bound flops desperately needed. It took time, of course, but after the stirring 4-0 win over Olympiakos in the Uefa Cup on Wednesday night, the Toon finally began to sing the name of their Scottish boss.

Sometimes it is still possible to be proud to be English and still be a proud football lover before the FA Cup quarterfinals. One of those rare nights occurred on Tuesday when Chelsea’s Frank Lampard scored, Joe Cole turned it on and John Terry produced the winner in a fascinating last 16 Champions League win over Barcelona.

There is no grey when it comes to the Champions League. After an epic week of last-16 action in Europe, Chelsea and Liverpool are world-beaters. Arsenal and Manchester United are losers, ready to dismantle their galaxies of fallen stars. In the fickle world of modern football, failure in the globe’s greatest club competition leaves no room for error.

At first glance, Aaron Mokoena appears as tough as his reputation. A heavily scarred right cheek, a gold tooth with his initial engraved on it, a childhood in Boipatong where he lived through the 1992 massacre and, of course, the nickname: M’bazo — ”the Axe”. But when the South African captain turns out for Blackburn Rovers, he’s generally thinking of one person: his mum.

From the moment, two weeks ago, when Jose Mourinho decided to let his players go suitless to the Millennium stadium, we knew Sunday’s League Cup final was going to be something of a dress rehearsal. Despite often fielding below-strength sides, two of the Premiership’s biggest clubs, Liverpool and Chelsea, have struggled to the final.

England started the week with a unique four Champions League contenders out of a star-studded 16 survivors from the group stage. Okay, they didn’t have half a chance of lifting the European Cup once dominated by Liverpool, Aston Villa and Nottingham Forest, but they had a quarter of a chance on paper.

Arsène Wenger has made a reputation for himself as the man who is
always looking the other way when things go wrong. When asked about any indiscretion on the part of his Arsenal players, the elegant Frenchman dances around the issue by saying: ”From where I was I did not see that.”

Ahmed Hossam signs for Tottenham Hotspur. Not quite the same as ”Spurs get the Mido touch” is it? The 21-year-old Egyptian with the catchy nickname (apparently it’s something to do with a trendy wristwatch) moved to Spurs on an 18-month loan deal from Roma during the January transfer window.

Look, just for the sake of an argument, Manchester United are going to win the double. No, they aren’t. Yes, they are. I’ve told you once, no, you haven’t. Strange-condition schizophrenia, but football is rife with it. We all know Chelsea are an uncatchable nine points clear of Alex Ferguson’s revived United and two points further ahead of Arsenal.