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/ 16 October 2007

Man survives nine-storey fall in his underpants

An Australian man dressed only in his underpants survived a fall from his ninth-storey apartment when an apparent incident of high jinks went badly wrong, police said on Tuesday. The 35-year-old was attempting to build planks across to a neighbour’s flat when he lost his footing and plummeted 30m to the ground, police said.

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/ 13 October 2007

Aussie horse-racing fans make do with camels

Australian fans starved of horse racing because of an outbreak of equine influenza received bizarre relief when camels took to the track in Sydney. The strictly no-betting, amateur-jockey race meet took place on Friday night at Harold Park Paceway, which is among tracks where racing has been suspended during the disease outbreak.

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/ 9 October 2007

Jones points finger at Connolly for Aussie Cup exit

Former Wallabies coach Eddie Jones has blamed his successor, John Connolly, for Australia’s shock World Cup exit last weekend at the hands of old enemy England. Connolly replaced Jones two years ago and there has been no love lost between the pair, particularly since Jones signed up as an adviser to South Africa for this year’s tournament in France.

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/ 8 October 2007

Australian media taunt All Blacks

Australian newspapers on Monday sought to ease the pain of the Wallabies’ Rugby World Cup exit at the hands of England — and the boot of Jonny Wilkinson — by taunting the All Blacks. ”At least we didn’t choke,” Brisbane’s Courier-Mail screamed across its back page.

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/ 7 October 2007

NZ search for answers after shock Cup exit

New Zealanders were looking for answers on Sunday after their beloved All Blacks once again failed at the Rugby World Cup. France’s stunning 20-18 win over the All Blacks in Cardiff left the nation wondering just how the world’s top-ranked team managed to lose to a French side that had been woefully out of form during the tournament.

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/ 5 October 2007

Abattoir beefs up security after gallstone thefts

An Australian abattoir has beefed up security because thieves in its slaughterhouse were stealing cattle gallstones, which are worth almost their weight in gold, a report said on Friday. The Borthwicks Meatworks in Queensland state will cut the pockets off its employees’ overalls and conduct random searches to protect the gallstones.

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/ 25 September 2007

‘Hey beautiful … the back door’s open’

The wife of former Australian cricket champion Shane Warne says their marriage reconciliation is over after he mistakenly sent her an incriminating SMS. Simone Callahan, who reunited last December with the spin bowler known also for his womanising, told a woman’s magazine she caught Warne cheating on her while he was in London.

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/ 20 September 2007

He used WHAT?

It was a stick up of a different kind for one Australian burglar, who broke into a neighbour’s house and played sex games in the bathroom. Jamie Lacey broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove.

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/ 9 September 2007

Apec tackles security after climate compromise

Asia-Pacific leaders tackled security issues, including food safety, on the last day of their summit on Sunday. Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said leaders of the 21-member Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (Apec) forum would turn to ”human security” issues at their retreat in Sydney Opera House.

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/ 8 September 2007

Apec nations to accept climate change goals

Asia-Pacific nations, including China and the United States, will accept for the first time global goals to reduce emissions, according to a draft statement prepared for an Apec summit on Saturday. The declaration reaffirmed the United Nations climate convention as the primary vehicle for fighting global warming.

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/ 7 September 2007

Bush speaks at Opec … er, Apec

United States President George Bush, who reportedly once told aides he dislikes the "small talk in big rooms" of summitry, seemed not entirely sure on Friday which world leader gathering was going. Opening the keynote speech of his visit to Sydney, Bush thanked Australian Prime Minister John Howard "for being such a fine host for the Opec summit’.

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/ 5 September 2007

Bush, Howard cement alliance at Apec meeting

United States President George Bush and Australian Prime Minister John Howard cemented a strong alliance on Wednesday as Asia-Pacific ministers began talks ranging from human security and climate change to trade and economic reform. Howard promised Australian soldiers would stay alongside US troops in Iraq following a meeting between the close friends.

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/ 3 September 2007

Ponting’s Twenty20 participation in doubt

Captain Ricky Ponting was absent from the Australia squad that headed to South Africa for the Twenty20 World Cup on Monday, with Cricket Australia (CA) citing ”family reasons” for his absence. CA chief executive James Sutherland said ”a private family issue” had arisen at the weekend for the 32-year-old skipper.

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/ 3 September 2007

Can ageing Wallabies hold their own?

The great debate: Is this the Wallabies’ A team? Or merely the Wallabies’ A-frame team? That’s the question controversial Australian rugby columnist Greg Growden ask in his Monday Maul. It is impossible to avoid the fact that the Australian World Cup campaign revolves around those on their last Test legs, rather than those at the peak of their careers.

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/ 3 September 2007

Sydney brothels prepare for Apec boom

Sydney’s brothels are preparing for a boom as thousands of delegates and journalists descend on the city for a major Asia-Pacific summit this week. A former tax office auditor turned legal brothel industry lobbyist, Chris Seage, wrote that Sydney’s brothels had been fielding phone calls from overseas for the past two weeks.

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/ 3 September 2007

Howard in YouTube call for calm at Apec summit

Australian Prime Minister John Howard used YouTube on Monday to sell an Asia-Pacific leaders summit in Sydney this week, ahead of expected protests against global warming and the Iraq war. Organisers anticipate violent demonstrations at the Asia Pacific Economic Co-operation (Apec) summit, which will be attended by 21 leaders including United States President George Bush.

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/ 22 August 2007

Australia cast doubt over NZ World Cup hopes

Australia have fired the first shot in a psychological war of words with New Zealand, claiming the All Blacks have passed their peak before the World Cup has even begun. New Zealand are strong favourites to win the tournament starting next month in France, but the Australians suspect the All Blacks have misjudged their timing.

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/ 19 August 2007

Woman killed by amorous pet camel

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present after the animal apparently tried to have sex with her, police said on Sunday. The 10-month-old male camel knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her and exhibited what police suspect was mating behaviour.

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/ 14 August 2007

Tuqiri, Dunning get Cup curfew after booze session

Wallabies Lote Tuqiri and Matt Dunning have been slapped with a midnight curfew for Australia’s Rugby World Cup campaign after a controversial late-night drinking session, officials said on Tuesday. Australian Rugby Union boss John O’Neill said both players, who had a prior history of drink-related incidents, had also received a formal warning about their conduct.

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/ 9 August 2007

Fleming left out of NZ Twenty20 squad

New Zealand Test captain Stephen Fleming has been left out of the Kiwi squad for next month’s inaugural Twenty20 World Cup in South Africa after the selectors confirmed Daniel Vettori as the new skipper. Vettori was the obvious choice to succeed Fleming as skipper after he quit the one-day captaincy following this year’s World Cup in the Caribbean.

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/ 7 August 2007

ICC: Sudan must hand over Darfur fugitives

The Sudanese government must hand over for trial the man accused of masterminding the Darfur massacre or risk becoming a pariah nation, the International Criminal Court (ICC) chief prosecutor said on Tuesday. Luis Moreno-Ocampo said any peace deal would have to respect international law and warrants for the arrest of Sudanese Minister Ahmad Harun.

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/ 31 July 2007

Wallaby coaches dismiss allegations of disunity

Wallaby coach John Connolly has dismissed suggestions that a rift in the coaching staff threatens to ruin the team’s chances at the Rugby World Cup in France, which starts in September. A report has claimed that the relationship of the four-man coaching staff of Connolly, Michael Foley, Scott Johnson and John Muggleton was ”edgy” and there were intense divisions within the camp.