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Thought Leader
/ 12 June 2025

How to help your parents in their golden years

By Kananelo Matela
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The national treasury has produced statistics that show that South Africa has among the highest retirement industry fees in the world.
Most South Africans are not planning for retirement, with only 6% of the country’s population on track to retire comfortably.

They brought you into this world. And now, as the roles begin to shift, you’re the one stepping up.

For many South Africans in their 40s and 50s — especially Gen X — the pressure is mounting. You’re raising children, planning for your retirement and, increasingly, supporting aging parents who are approaching retirement with little to no financial cushion. It’s a tough balancing act. And without a plan, it’s one that could leave you just as vulnerable.

Data from Statistics South Africa shows that about 13.9% of urban households are multi-generational, with 4.2% classified as skip-generation households where grandparents live with grandchildren without the presence of parents. This trend is more pronounced in rural areas, where 64.1% of children in grandparent-headed households live without either parent.

Most South Africans are not planning for retirement, with only 6% of the country’s population on track to retire comfortably, according to the 10X Retirement Reality Report 2023-24. 

Economic hardship and high immediate financial obligations are major barriers, leading many to prioritise short-term financial survival over long-term planning.

Adult children are expected to help, often without formal conversations or structures in place, potentially leading to financial strain across generations.

You may want to help your parents — and so you should — but doing so without a strategy can compromise your own long-term security. It is possible to support them with confidence and clear boundaries, without becoming a financial martyr.

This step is essential: talk about money. Sit down with your parents and discuss their income, expenses, debt and medical cover. If they don’t have a formal budget, you may want to help them build one. It’s not about control; it’s about laying the cards on the table.

Once you know what they’re working with, you’ll have a clearer idea of where the gaps are and whether, and how, you could possibly help fill them.

Healthcare is one of the biggest financial risks in retirement. Is your parents’ medical aid cover active and adequate? A lapse in cover can trigger late-joiner penalties and limited benefits, which could leave the family footing the bill.

You might also want to consider looking at frail care, which might eventually be necessary.  It can cost upwards of R40,000 a month, according to the Association for the Aged. Planning early (or even just understanding the available options) could save you from making decisions in a panic later down the line.

If your parents’ income falls short, it might be time to look at their assets, including property, investments, or annuities. Could downsizing free up cash flow? Are there underused investments or savings that could be restructured?

Equity release, structured drawdowns, or liquidating non-essentials are all options, but they require good advice and, ideally, a professional financial plan. Because it doesn’t help to offload assets, only to fall into the same trap later down the line.

As these conversations progress, boundaries remain important. Can you contribute financially, without jeopardising your own savings goals? What about your retirement savings, annuity and tax-free savings account (TFSA) contributions?

This isn’t about being cold or calculative. It’s about ensuring you don’t end up repeating the same cycle as your parents, or taking on new debt to help someone else.

If you have siblings, you might want to loop them in early. It helps to share the load — whether that’s handling paperwork, managing medical claims, or contributing financially. Everyone brings something different to the table.

Shared living can work well, but it’s worth thinking through the emotional and practical side of things. It’s not just about splitting costs — the mental load matters too.

A life stage strategy

Boomers (61-79): You might want to focus on preserving capital and clearing any unsecured debt. A TFSA could help generate tax-free income in retirement. It’s also a good time to review your will, medical aid, and beneficiary details.

Gen X (45-60): This could be the moment to ramp up retirement contributions and work on eliminating short-term debt. A diversified portfolio still makes sense, but you may want to start de-risking gradually. Estate planning might also be worth prioritising if you haven’t already.

Millennials (25-44):Now’s a great time to build a strong financial foundation. Using a TFSA and starting a retirement annuity can help set you up for the long term. An emergency fund is key — and it’s okay to get that in place before taking on financial responsibilities for others.

Supporting your parents while planning your own future is no small task. There’s a lot to juggle — from tax and retirement planning to healthcare costs and estate matters — and getting expert advice can make a big difference.

It’s not about giving up control. It’s about having someone help you navigate the complexity and avoid emotionally driven decisions that could come at a cost.

Helping your parents in retirement is a real act of love — but it’s also one that needs boundaries and a clear head. So, as you look ahead to what the next few years might bring, ask yourself: how prepared do you really feel?

Kananelo Matela is a junior investment consultant at 10X Investments. This article provides general information. It is not intended as nor does it constitute financial, tax, legal, investment or other advice.

Tags: 10X Retirement Reality Report, annuity, Association for the Aged, frail care, generational wealth, Healthcare, Parents, retirement, retirement savings, tax-free savings account, thought leader

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