Deputy President Paul Mashatile says the ANC will wait for further details of the South African Communist Party’s decision to contest elections alone before determining its effect on the tripartite alliance that includes labour federation Cosatu. (Delwyn Verasamy/MG)
Thursday.
President Cyril Ramaphosa has declared 27 December as a public holiday because Christmas Day falls on a Sunday.
It’s a nice gesture on the part of el jefe, particularly since he may not be the number one inhabitant of the West Wing of the Union Buildings for all that much longer, and may not be able to give us a day off for mahala next year. (He could; New Year’s Day also falls on a Sunday.)
Nice, too, for those among us who would like to enjoy an additional day of beveraging, eating and general gambolling over the festive, without having to worry about having to go to work hungover — or facing votes of no confidence, caucus revolts and that sort of thing.
Nice too for those among us with side hustles — an extra day to make some moola while the country is Decembering and drunk enough to spend what’s left of their 13th cheques with gay abandon.
Word has it Cyril made a dollar or five hundred thousand over the holidays in December 2019, so perhaps that explains the extra day off that the head of state has been so kind as to give us — and himself.
There is, after all, a small herd of buffalo at Phala Phala that needs to be got rid of to refund their owner, who wants his money back, in cash, three years later — something like a fair number of Ramaphosa’s backers from the heady days of December 2017.
Word also has it that the comrades may decide to choose a compromise — as opposed to a compromised — candidate for the ANC presidency next weekend, giving Cyril and Zweli Mkhize the heave, so Ramaphosa’s act of kindness may simply be him covering all bases just in case he gets a “don’t come Monday” from the party for his Christmas box.
We are led.
uMongameli is becoming more and more like his predecessor as the days go by.
It’s not just the lack of accountability; the dodge dealings and the circling of the wagons in parliament that reflect shades of the great waster of nine years.
Ramaphosa has, like Jacob Zuma, started handing out days off — or social grants — in response to every new political (or legal) crisis that comes his way, just like uBaba, but without all the song and dance.
Bread and circuses, baby.
What comes next from Zuma 2.0?
Is it time for midnight cabinet reshuffles, “free” higher education that the country can’t pay for — or an angry resignation TikTok video on St Valentine’s Day — if Ramaphosa doesn’t get a second term later this month?
Or will he get the nod from the comrades and set about firing and hiring at the South African Reserve Bank, the National Prosecuting Authority and the Directorate for Priority Crime Investigation, à la Nxamalala, just in case anybody wakes up and does their job?
Only time — along with the comrades and the criminal justice system — will tell.
Me, I would prefer some electricity if CR is feeling generous — or less faecal material in the ocean along Durban’s not so golden mile so that human beings can actually swim in it — to another day off to make up for Christmas falling on a Sunday.
Come to think about it, a fistful of those dollars that Cyril had stashed in the couch at Phala Phala wouldn’t hurt right now going into the festive season; something to keep the fridge full until the January salary arrives — reparations of a sort for being a disappointment and for doing a Zuma on us all.
Throwing a day off to the punters is, I guess, one way of going about getting a second term in the presidency — and a new couch — but word has it that the move to hold a conference with an uncontested presidential candidate acceptable to the Renewables, the Wenzenists and the rest is slowing gaining ground behind the scenes.
That might explain the decision by the Congress of South African Trade Unions and the ANC’s Veterans League — both Team Cyril up until this point — not to endorse any candidate for the party presidency next week.
The ANC treasurer general, acting secretary general and acting deputy secretary general has used his position as the Holy Trinity to set himself up an alternative to both Phala Phala and Digital Vibes going into the conference.
The Apostle Paul.
Mashatile may be a somewhat shop-soiled knight in shining armour for the governing party — and the rest of us — but in a week’s time the comrades may be preaching the Gospel According to St Paul.