So the living dead are shuffling around the country, drooling and hungry for brains. No, I’m not talking about local electioneering politicians, I mean real zombies. Luckily for you there’s a site to keep you safe. Go find out everything you need to know at Zombie Survival 101.
I’m a daily Howard Stern Show listener, and the show, which can be found on the internet if you know where to look, blows the retarded local talkshows out of the water. (My favourite segment this last week involved a vomit fetishist coming into studio and chatting amiably about his fetish, and then getting thrown up on. This naturally caused a flood of calls from cheerful and laughing listeners who’d just thrown up as well.) Reason I raise the vomit segment is that in the week when Clear Channel pulled Stern’s show from six stations, mainly due to his anti-Bush stance, at least Stern had the guts to cross the line and go further in the face of growing censorship as the US election looms closer.
To bypass the rubbish on local radio, as well as to keep an eye on the cutting edge of in-your-face talkradio, fire up an MIRC client and join any Efnet server. Then join a channel called #ohr-files. As you get into the channel, you’ll see FTP info to download Stern’s daily shows. Try one — you’ll want them all — especially now as things are heating up. Get used to the show first, then go browse Howard Stern’s Official Site
If you’re too technologically challenged to download audio files, then browse this next site which has detailed info on each show’s chaos, fights and unfolding dramas. Go to Marks Frigging.
The electronic voting scam continues and, as can be seen from this next article, occasionally there are benefits in being in a third rate third world backward society where voting is still done on paper. Read this first hand glimpse of the electronic voting system that signals the end of freedom in the USA. See The Deafening Silence of Democracy
Given that the Mayan calender runs out in just a few years time which means that, according to the long dead Mayans, something very nasty is about to happen to our civilization, why not go and browse through an online site dedicated to this race that people always mix up with the Incas. See Mayan Ruins Online
Science fiction has always tended to lead the way in terms of new discoveries. You name the new invention setting the scientific world alight, sci-fi has more than likely got there a long time back, described it, and set a story around it. Go browse through a collection of sci-fi’s most imaginative writers’ inventions, at Where Science Meets Fiction.
Stupid ideas time. The march towards political correctness and making a buck continues. What do you do if you’re a parent and your spouse dies? how do you explain it to the kids? How does handing them a comic book sound? I’m not kidding. Look at the ad off Amazon for the comic book titled Saying Goodbye To Daddy.
And sticking with the ‘leftover spouse’ theme, instead of the rubbish surrounding marriage which the diamond sellers want to con you into believing, go have a look at a site which caters for gifts for the ‘newly single’. Go to They Took Everything.
Then further into the field of loss, if you thought you were the only one to fall apart at the death of a pet, browse through these ‘pet bereavement sites’ designed to help owners come to terms with the anguish of things like a stupid flattened cat who didn’t look both ways when crossing a road. Try Pet Loss and Rainbow Bridge or The Association For Pet Loss and Bereavement. (You’ll notice a couple of those sites tend to have cheesy midi files playing, suitable for soothing the bereaved.)
Gear change. Regular readers will recall my rants against the new form of electronic tagging that companies are doing, using tiny things called RFID (radio frequency identification) chips. These may well be sitting in your wallet right now, thanks to those supposedly useful plastic cards that supermarkets and shops try to hand you. Here’s an interesting discovery: the RFID’s are hidden inside US dollars. Read Microwaving US Dollars.
As a thought, if anyone’s bored and has access to an x-ray machine, it might be fun to see if these RFID tracking chips have been placed in local currency as well.
On the other hand, why worry about your every move being monitored? You could instead just go play with a doll called Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure. And if you’re interested in keeping an eye on the US President who’s responsible for destroying most of the global goodwill that the US had paintsakingly rebuilt over the last 30 or so years since Vietnam, go spend some time at The Blogging of the President
Classic media moment time. You know that scrolling text which winds across the bottom of the TV, usually filled with misprints and day-old news during what passes here for ‘business TV’? Well, some bright sparks took advantage of a TV station doing this — with bizarre and surreal results. Take a look at the screengrabs as things go from bad to worse, beneath the onscreen TV announcers unsuspecting gaze. Look closely at the company names which are supposedly closed due to the bad weather: Scrolling TV Hack. Then to read the ongoing company names — and this might still be available to join in with your own carefully hidden-but-obscene names to display on TV — go to Scrolling TV Forum.
Quick stupid downloads section. To see drunken Brits trying to slide down very steep Underground escalator rails, and failing, filmed on a rather fuzzy videophone, try the 2meg download of Drunken Brits. On the other hand, to see what happens when TV and wild animals collide, take a look at the far too brief clip called Bear Attacks.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane! It’s … the folks who created all those comics which our parents whined at us about when we grew up. Take a look through their features archive, and think back to the good old days when there wasn’t anything more complicated to think about than DC Comics.
Poets are an endangered species. Real poets anyway, not the ‘anguished hands clutching through barbed wire’ type of morons. So I thought I’d do my bit to help the cause of this art. Go take a listen to a collection of genuine poets reciting their work, and no, it’s actually not as boring as it sounds. Go to Poetry Out Loud.
And for atrocities of a different sort, take a look at this online exhibition dealing with the mass killings at Srebrenica — the Rohde to Srebrenica.
(In an idle side thought, seeing as I can’t get in to see my column on the M&G site as I haven’t been given a subscription, if my previous column didn’t start off with me mentioning that I’m not stupid enough to vote for the ANC, then I’m being censored. Let me know 🙂 )
Finally, if you’re happily sick like I am, and thus amused by stuff that supposedly educated folks tend to sneer at, then seeing as you made it down here to the bottom of the column, feast your eyes on the sordid and silly Accidental Video Game Porn Archive.
Until the next time, if pet owners don’t get me.