Golden moans
It’s all sleaze, bullies and damn lies this week. And most of it took place in the allegedly calm, tranquil and like, shoo hey peace man, city of Cape Town. Several reports of abuse of musicians have been filtering in from the weekend’s huge Benson & Hedges Golden Tones kwaito and d’gong bash. The organisers, wanting to ensure that the concert ended at 12.30am, simply cut off crowd favourite Mdu and Bongo Maffin’s backing tunes halfway through their sets, leaving them staring helplessly at an audience calling for more. And spare a thought for Arthur’s new act, Zulu, in Cape Town to make her national debut. She lasted half a song before the track ground to a halt and the lights went down. She was last seen in tears backstage.
Help the police. Beat yourself up
Not that there was much of a backstage to speak of. Artists had to view the concert from a miserable little TV screen and were given windswept marquees for change rooms. Not surprisingly, several top local musicians could be seen squeezing into their outfits in their cars. Then, to top it all, artists were barred from the VIP room beforehand lest they indulge in a drink before performing. What on earth happened to sex, drugs and rock’n’roll? Still, even the organisers couldn’t kill the distinctly funky vibe and masses of talent going down. Which is not to say they didn’t try. At the end of the concert, a member of O’Da Meesta found himself getting beaten up by a security guard – for trying to get back into the stadium in which he was performing!
Missing in action
Meanwhile, South Africa’s press has been going to town over the filming of The Hangman’s Daughter, the “new Quentin Tarantino vampire film” being shot in the Cape. Tarantino reports have been so frequent that a rumour began to spread that the director was in town, shooting the film himself. Sorry to break it to all you Hollywood-starved journalists, but Tarantino is just an executive producer on a piece for which, according to reliable industry gossip, he merely provided an almost incomprehensible two-page treatment because he desperately needed the money.
Rock on!
The shoot has attracted particular attention because the crew trashed and littered a cave in the Cedarberg while shooting a vampire scene two weeks ago. In the press, they defended themselves by saying the cave was already trashed and that they had in fact temporarily improved it by covering up some of the “graffiti” on the walls with latex. What they failed to tell the press is that the graffiti in question are invaluable Africana, having been placed there by famous historical figures like DF Malan.
Blerrie Hotnot
But no one could possibly be giving the fair Cape a worse reputation than one Zebulon Dread, “Last of the Great, Great Hotnots”. In the second edition of his bloody rude new magazine, Hei Voetsek, Mr Dread happily depicts fags being buggered up, coloured women lying drunk, politicians in compromising positions, himself naked, settler women raping the natives … and Olympic bid anti-hero Chris Ball just, well, hanging out (right).
When your ship comes in
Still Cape Town’s dirty deeds have nothing on a small, impoverished, coastal Haitian village that made news last week. The entire population – led by their pastor – stand accused of removing 2 000kg of the finest Colombian cocaine from a drug- trafficking boat that ran aground on the local beach. When they learned of the stash, residents abducted the boat’s captain and are said to have buried their treasure. Homes have been searched, the pastor has been arrested and an elite anti- drug squad called in, but to no avail. Hell, who needs the Olympics when a ship like that comes in.
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