DELETE ME x2

Uniform medicine for all

Here in the Groot Marico life goes on at quite a leisurely pace ? and that’s how we like it. Oom Krisjan thus feels great sympathy for Minister of Health Dr Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, who has been rushing from pillar to post to prevent Aids activists implementing court decisions on the anti- retroviral, nevirapine. All these court appearances have kept her from being fitted for her new uniform: Dr Manto TM is to become an honorary colonel with 1-Military Hospital.

No comment

Dr Manto TM is so busy that even Paul Setsetse, spokesperson for Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development Penuell Maduna, has been roped into giving her a hand. Setsetse was being bothered by the media about Tshabalala-Msimang’s resounding ”No” in response to the question of whether government would accept the court ruling in the Nevirapine saga. According to Setsetse, Msimang’s response had been ”interpreted” by the media. How is that possible ? Oom Krisjan always thought that when a woman says ”no” she means ”no”.

Coke heads

The Middle East crisis has had a lot of television time recently, but it seldom supplants the Bulls as the main cause of depression in the Dorsbult. However, a call from the Palestine Solidarity Group (PSG) certainly got our attention. In order to put indirect pressure on the Israeli government, the PSG wants a boycott of products from several United States multinationals, including Kimberly Clark and Coca-Cola. Now we agree we can do without our sneesies, but what are we expected to put into our Klipdrif? It’s enough to make the manne agree with the Ronald Reagan appointee who wished that the Israelis and the Palestinians would resolve things ”in a Christian manner”.

Boeing, Boeing, gone

Lemmer has always been a little suspicious of official US interpretations of things (see above), but with all the ”if you ain’t with us, you’re against us” rhetoric after September 11 last year the manne neglected to examine the events themselves too closely. The images of planes crashing into the World Trade Centre and the damage to the Pentagon disappeared from our screens quite quickly, as they were ? we were told ? too offensive and upsetting for viewers. A new website suggests another explanation for the rapid ban on the images. Go to www.asile.org/citoyens/numero13/pentagone/erreurs?en.htm and play Hunt the Boeing.

Not fooled

Ja, the World Wide Web is a source of much humour ? as is its niggie, e-mail. Apparently someone has been reading about the manne’s consumption of brandewyn and decided to send a belated April Fool grappie to us. That can be the only reason for an e-mail to Oom Krisjan with the subject ”New drug for erectile dysfunction approved in Europe”. Its sender was one Melanie Letcher.

Hot air

An occasional visitor to the Dorsbult tells Oom Krisjan that Afrox’s recent 75th anniversary bash ended on a bit of a sour note. Entertainment was provided by a philharmonic orchestra plus choir ? but things started to go off key when it came to the national anthem. After a hissy fit over interpretation, the choir refused to sing along. Conductor Richard Cock persevered, however, and got others to make the noise while the choir mouthed the words. His efforts were unrewarded as guests at the very lavish affair ? where the ties were black but very little else was ? declined to get to their feet for Nkosi Sikel’ iAfrika. A choir member was overheard to remark that the audience obviously felt the same way as the choir over the interpretation.

Strange ways

Oom Krisjan has always wondered why a highly intelligent and otherwise sensible man such as President Thabo Mbeki has such strange views on Aids. Independent Online (IOL), the website of the Irish baked bean king’s local newspapers, gave us a clue recently.

In an item headlined ”Busts unveiled to honour liberation heroes,” Lemmer read: ”Former president Nelson Mandela and three diseased heroes of the struggle ? African National Congress leader Oliver Tambo, Pan Africanist Congress president Robert Sobukwe and Black Consciousness Movement founder Steve Biko ? were honoured when President Thabo Mbeki unveiled their sculpted busts in Johannesburg.”

No wonder Mbeki is worried.

Expert at large

Cape Town attorney and racism expert Christine Qunta is developing something of a cosy relationship with commissions of inquiry. Having formed part of a delegation that instigated the Human Rights Commission’s inquiry into racism in the media ? and getting a book, Who’s Afraid of Affirmative Action?, out of it ? she now finds herself serving as a commissioner in the inquiry into the rand’s plummet.

Perhaps she’ll put her stint on the commission to good use by writing a new book, Who’s Afraid of the Free Market?.

Calling centenarians

A South African Airline has decided to improve business with an unusual offer: all 100-year-olds will now be able to fly anywhere in the country for just R100. This seems rather a long time to wait and Lemmer would like to know if this airline would be willing to extend the concept ? so Oom Krisjan could go down to the visdorpie for R60.

Readers wishing to alert Oom Krisjan to matters of national or lesser

importance can do so at [email protected]

PREVIOUS COLUMNS

Krisjan Lemmer March 29, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer March 22, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer March 15, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer March 8, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer March 1, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer February 22, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer February 15, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer February 8, 2002

Krisjan Lemmer February 1, 2002