Dear Mr Da Vinci
Re: Your application for National Arts Council funding for proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”
Your application has been submitted to certain Ministerially Appointed Directors on the National Arts Council Board. Their responses are detailed below.
The National Arts Council Director of Visual Arts Development has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that it proposes the use of outmoded Eurocentric art devices such as perspective, chiaroscuro, sfumato, contrapposto and verisimilitude and points out that these elitist painting techniques are beyond the reach of the vast majority of artists in South Africa and where the Directorate believes that linocut and poster paints should be the preferred media for visual expression.
The National Arts Council Officer of Museums has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that due to its situational inflexibility the wall painting will fail to suit the contextual social needs of various communities, being untransportable to shopping malls, casinos, airports or for loan when Parliament has decorating problems on national days.
The National Arts Council Director of Intergovernmental Relations and Cultural Exchange has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that there seems to be little cultural benefit in representing 13 well-clad, testosterone-producing, white, elitist, Jewish men (now all dead) enjoying a repast in a commodious, well-appointed restaurant while one of them steals the tip, thus reinforcing the stereotypical notion that Jews are not to be trusted with money, even among themselves. The lack of any female or black representatives in the image may well be offensive to many viewers.
The National Arts Council Director of Dance Development has responded favourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that, if situated in a suitable venue, the proposed wall painting would be useful as a substitute backdrop to a forthcoming Playhouse Contemporary Dance Theatre production of Guess Who’s Coming to Supper. The Director would require, however, to make amendments to the crude draughtspersonship of the sketches submitted by the applicant artist.
The National Arts Council Director of Cultural Empowerment has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that in its realisation no more than one assistant with an MA in fine art would be employed by the painter and that this would be in direct violation of National Arts Council upliftment, empowerment and training initiatives as determined by the Minister of Arts, Culture, Science and Technology.
The National Arts Council Director of Cultural Tourism has responded favourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that, properly marketed through the reproduction of countless kitsch facsimiles in various media that manipulate the image to more sentimental ends — as in the case of the face of ex-president Nelson Mandela — it could well attract cultural tourists to the Republic in quest of the original with a resulting increase in job creation.
The National Arts Council Director of Cultural Relevance has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that it is extremely restricted in cultural relevance. Its focus is narrow, concentrating on only a single, unsubstantiated biblical event and making no allowance for or reference to the tenets of parallel religious doctrines. As all the figures represented in the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper” appear to be triumphantly Jewish in origin, this could therefore be deemed to be hurtful to the feelings of the South African Muslim community and possibly inflammatory of the current unrest in the Middle East.
The National Arts Council Director of Cultural and Entertainment Law has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating it might well attract civil legal action rising from the frustrated artistic ambitions of the descendants of traditional muralists and which are in need of urgent redress.
The National Arts Council Director of Administration has responded unfavourably to the proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”, stating that control and supervision of the project would entail the apportioning of valuable administrative resources more profitably deployed in the creation of numberless interdepartmental cultural memoranda and artistic correspondence, the attending of countless culturally representative meetings, consultative fora and discussion groups, artistic intercourse with cultural adjudicators, the filling in and sending off of numerous Unemployment Insurance Fund forms and the general administration of artistic and cultural matters.
It is therefore with great regret that the National Arts Council is unable to consider the funding or necessary administration of your proposed Wall Painting Project ‘The Last Supper”. We apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused and for the two-year delay in responding to your application, which has been due to building alterations. Please feel free in the future to approach the National Arts Council for assistance in the fulfilment of any possible future cultural notions you may have, subject to our criteria as listed in Schedule 34a of 2001.
Signed: Director in Chief
cc: The Honourable Ben Ngubane: Minister of Arts, Culture, Science and Technology.
Archive: Previous columns by Robert Kirby