This week it’s mostly assorted useful sites – although the usefulness factor for some of them does possible depend on how much of an anarchist you are. But to kickstart the concept, let’s look at that computer of yours. (And this is one of the few ‘real’ useful sites that you actually should take time to work through.)
As some of you may have discovered by now – the salesman and the computer shops are lying when they sell computers with only 128 megs of RAM – because its just not enough. (And they know this – it’s like selling a Porsche with Volksie wheels.) There are many other layers of basic PC information which the salesmen, support staff and the TV ads just don’t explain – leaving you in deep trouble. Start your journey towards competence at Windows Help.
To give you an idea of the mental level of some IT support types, take time out to read through this collection of complaint-logs as filled out by the world’s worst support technician. Read The Chronicles of George.
Then if you’ve experienced the irritation of having your evening interrupted by some incompetent trying to sell you timeshare or to check whether or not your property is available for sale, then read this gloriously precise tale of what happened when a telemarketer one night, happened to pick on a lawyer . The lawyer decided to fight back, detailing the legal steps, precedents and costs along the way. Pick up some tips at How to Make A Telemarketer Cry (Or Suing Bozos For Fun and Profit).
You have a credit card and it gradually dawns on you that people aren’t paying much attention to what your signature looks like – do you file the thought as interesting and move on – or do you conduct an ever increasingly wild experiment to see how odd you can make your signature before someone complains? Read Credit Card Anarchy.
So you’re out in nature, and you never knew that the mushroom you always saw in drawings from Alice in Wonderland, was actually the kind of mushroom that if eaten, makes the walls bend and streetlights seem really really interesting – go discover a whole bunch of useful data (not really relating to narcotics as such), at Medicinal Plants.
If you’re getting tired of local radio and think you can do better, all you need is a microphone and a PC and an internet connection. The fast method is just record your own show, on your PC – (with you playing music or raving on about whatever you like) and then play it back over the Internet, for anyone to hear. This simple method neatly bypasses all censorship problems and dumb IBA rules about broadcasting. Best of all – it’s free, go to Shoutcast. And for extra help on setting up Shoutcast broadcasting, use Shoutcast Help.
Getting back to the more traditional method of information distribution – namely books. (I could tell you where to download the latest Harry Potter book from, and save you a lot of money – but then I’d end up getting my kneecaps shot off.) So instead, try browse for more thoughtful goodies at The Sacred Text Archive. And if you’re of a more historical bent, go browse through the freebie samples at Rare Books. Then get your download finger ready for even more eye-killing text, at Classic Books.
Gear change, but related – thanks to the internet, there are some oddities of history which can be snooped over without much effort. For instance, people have always travelled, and tourism has always been a growth industry. So to see how countries sold themselves, in the days before global TV coverage and the increasing carnage of what some idiots call modern civilization – go stare at Historical Tourism Brochures.
Then straying back into the book theme – many famous writers have long been associated with different places – towns, countries (and bars). Go browse the collection of authors and find your favourites, and then take a look at areas of the world they either wrote about or spent time in via The Literary Traveller.
Curious about what life was like on an expedition into the Congo back in 1909? Wonder if anything much has changed since then? End your curiousity at The 1909 Congo Expedition.
Or for history of a very freakish kind, compare the photos on the recipes with the actual recipes themselves at the highly alarming Weight Watchers Recipe Cards Circa 1974.
Then continuing the history meme – take a look at more bizarre objects that have been patented (ranging from devices using Antarctic snowballs to irrigate Australia – through to singing condoms) at Patently Absurd.
I’ve always been interested in odd experiments – like the classic one done at Stanford University in 1971, where students were divided into ‘prisoners’ and ‘guards’ – and the experiment itself had to be stopped by the sixth day, because all hell was breaking loose. (Added to this, some of the researchers involved, became part of the experiment, given that they didn’t stop the growing sadism of the ‘guards’. So later studies ended up studying the initial scientists and researchers as well as the guard/prisoner dynamic that it all began with.) Anyhow, point being, there’s a fairly useful intro to the whole scary saga that taught us a lot about human nature, at The Stanford Prison Experiment. (I saw a nastily intense film recently, which hopefully will be released here, based on this – called Das Experiment – keep an eye out for it).
You’re always being warned about ‘pirated goods’ ( that description used by the profiteering monopoly to describe cheaper versions of the same product) but what about pirated sites? The web is a free-for-all as far as stealing designs and text go. Especially by companies who theoretically should know better. Take a slow look through this interesting site, which offers side by side comaprisons of original and pirated websites: – Pirated Sites.
People have always said to me “Oscularis tui matris cum os iste” (translation at bottom for those who need it) but if you’re curious as to how on the ball your teacher is/was as regards pronounciation of ancient Latin or Greek – then it could be fun to take a listen to various scholars going through samples of prose and poetry at the Classical Language Instruction Project.
There once was a lowly clerk who had some odd idea’s about reality. And despite Einstein’s relativity theory being proven to be – well, not exactly ‘wrong’ but at least not the only working theory around – thanks to quantum physics, go read what Albert was scribbling before he made it onto t-shirts, at Einstein Information.
Then just to provide you with a bunch of fun random goodies – firstly, I’ve noticed a serious absence of imagination in local bumper stickers. Like everyone else who can’t take responsibility for their actions, I blame this on apartheid. Only kidding. Maybe. But for an amazing collection of seen bumper stickers, many of which NEED to be on our roads (some of the ones that appealed instantly, were “Frustrate a liberal. Buy a gun” and “Honk if you’ve been screwed by a priest” and lastly “Against abortion? Don’t have one!”) Go browse through the many genuine classic bumper stickers at Dumb Bumpers.
If you’ve also been told by many people that you’re going to Hell – then this next site should be really useful. It’s a collection of photographs of strange doors and gateways, which look very much like gateways to Hell. Who knows – one of them could be the genuine article. Go take a look at the collection of pics at Entranceways To Hell.
Or for something completely different, there’s always Spastic Chess. (Which is almost in the same vein as Disco Disco.
And finally, if you really have nothing better to do, you could always download Arnold Schwarzenegger sound clips, phone up people and companies at random, play them the clips and record their reactions. Go take a listen to what happens when fast food places receive a call from what sounds like Arnie – at Who’s Your Daddy And What Does He Do?.
(That translation: Oscularis tui matris cum os iste = “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”)
Until the next time, if humourless Latin teachers dont get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.