/ 25 February 2004

It’s written in the stars

So you’re one of the leading thinkers and mathematicians in the world, and you also happen to be paralysed and confined to a wheelchair. What happens on Valentines Day? Do you sit at home contemplating the nature of the universe — or do you lose all dignity and have a big balloon tied to your wheelchair, emblazoned with the words ‘I Love You’, and then get taken to eat Thai food at a nearby restaurant? Stephen Hawking Does Valentines Day.

It’s alive, it’s alive, I tell you! Nasa continues to gently make sure its budget gets re-approved this fiscal year by lifting the curtain on the strange weirdness that is Mars. Odd looking round things are all over the place in Mars pictures, baffling scientists worldwide. Take a look at Spheres on Mars.

Just as a follow-up to last week’s column where the problem of Apple’s IPod batteries was raised, here’s a nice easy email page to a law firm investigating the possibility of filing a class action suit against Apple on behalf of users whose IPod batteries have died. Go to IPod Class Action Suit.

Big boom time? I don’t think we’d be lucky enough to experience a large scale Armageddon unfolding, instead we’re probably just going to grind on in an ever stinkier and more fascist world until most of us are in ‘New World Order’ prison camps of one kind or another. That glimpse into my happily depressed psyche aside, there’re a couple of comets inbound to our part of the galaxy. Take a look at the info and use those binoculars for something other than ogling that neighbour who undresses with the curtains open. See Two comets incoming.

Scientists have discovered a new planet beyond Pluto and its been named 2004 DW — hardly a particularly sexy name. (As to whether this is the long awaited Planet Nibiru or ‘Planet X’, which according to legend has an orbit that brings it in a flyby of Earth once every 3600 years, is not known.) Here’s the BBC on Planet 2004 DW.

Now into speculation territory. As for Planet X (or Nibiru), there’s a lot of ancient astronomical evidence pointing towards the existence of this as yet undiscovered planet from which the ‘gods’, which populate every ancient culture’s writings, came from. According to legend, we as a species, were made by these gods as slave labour. Then some sort of war occurred between the gods themselves, and since then we’ve been left alone to come up with ever more bizarre theories of our own origins. (Most notably the rather spurious theory of evolution and a wide range of ‘religions’ to explain everything). Read this little known news item from CNN – DNA tests show humans not Neanderthals’ descendants.

Learn from the horse’s mouth and listen to a radio show about Planet X and ancient Sumerian knowledge of this planet called Nibiru>. And do a browse through the evidence at Planet X. Read Is Nibiru Approaching?, and consider Planet X and the Coming Earth Changes. Then for a lot of links, ranging from somewhat out there to much food for thought, discover the world of rather scary Sumerian scholar Zachariah Sitchin.

Let’s keep you up to date with the ongoing atrocity known as the Bush Administration. Larry Flynt, Hustler‘s creator and the man who gave us naked pix of Jackie Kennedy-Onassis (for those who remember and like modern history lewd and sleazy), has some info that may yet help ensure that Dubya Bush isn’t going to soil the White House for another term. Read Bush paid for abortion, says Flynt. Then read Bush did community service for cocaine use. And then, recall the 911 widow suing Bush? (Something I first started mentioning last year and over time, have probably bored you silly by bringing up repeatedly). Well, the US media finally ‘discovered’ this story last week. Read the little mention in a small US paper about the 911 Widow sues Bush.

(Bush has finally agreed to maybe meet with some of the 911 Commission. Go take a look at some of the questions that Bush is no doubt praying he won’t be asked at Bush – Under the bright lights). There’s another 23 or so questions at the informative 911 Family Steering Committee.

And in another 911-related story that you probably never heard about, a German computer company examining 911 computers has discovered that well over $100 million was moved through accounts in the unfolding chaos prior to the WTC towers collapse. See 911 Computers.

The oil grab disguised as a regime change in Iraq is taking its toll on the occupying forces, as well as the citizens. Read this little reported growing problem experienced by female US soldiers: Female GIs report rapes.

Another growing sign of stress within the US forces can be found at Suicides in Iraq – Questions at home.

And for a close up glimpse behind the scenes, read this whistleblowing article and interview with ex-US Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Karen Kwiatkowski, a regional analyst: Soldier For The Truth.

There’s a big difference between reality and public image. Consider this quote relating to the UK. “In 1980, only 19% of the adult population belonged to a church, mosque, synagogue or temple. By 1990 the figure had fallen to 17.5%, and in 1999 only 7% of British people were attending a weekly religious service.” So despite what you may have thought, at least in the UK, religions are on their way out. Perhaps it’s about time for humans to throw all that officially sanctioned supernatural stuff, which seems to be the cause of so many wars and so much lousy television, and little else. Read this report titled Atheism should be taught in schools.

And related… It’s rather funny, given that throughout all the filming of the assorted, rather ridiculous ‘Bible epics’ which Hollywood churned out through the Fifties, that one of the basic standard ways of the big studios selling the ‘sincerity’ of the lead actors playing Jesus was to deny interviews with the press, suggesting instead that the actor was in retreat and contemplating their role. This rather bizarre routine continued all the way up to the 70s and Zefferelli’s Jesus of Nazareth, where Robert Powell put his foot in it and was the first Jesus actor to publically laugh off any suggestions that sanctity or reflection was needed to act the role. Toga-epics like The Greatest Story Ever Told, Quo Vadis, The Ten Commandments etc were all great films, but ultimately in terms of historical accuracy were rubbish and misleading. Unfortunately, the people who call themselves Christians have for the most part, very little understanding of either the harsh reality of Biblical times, their faith’s central texts, or the more than 40 books which have been removed from what’s called The Bible. Operating in this haze of ignorance, it’s not surprising that remarkably interesting films like Scorcese’s Last Temptation of Christ allowed the ignorant worldwide and locally to spit venom, parade their ignorance and protest loudly in a very un-Christian way. This lengthy bit of background is needed in order to understand the freaked out reaction by supposedly educated film critics to Gibson’s new Jesus film The Passion. Read this rather whiney review by Newsweek on Mel Gibson’s Christ flick The Passion.

Now having said as much, various Zionist lobby groups have been desperately trying to have a Bible quote censored — “Let his blood be upon us and upon our children” (a fact I find wonderfully absurd). Recall my mention of the long cynical history of Jesus marketing as done by Hollywood for their Bible epics, and now smell the hidden agendas at work as you read this outraged whining review by a critic in the New York Daily News: Selling the saviour.

Onto really important subjects. How about a business that premixes salt and pepper, so that you don’t have to bother doing first the salt, then the pepper? Salt and Pepper Mix.

Then there’s the insane but brilliant idea of the man who’s hoping to get a free airticket to the USA by advertising on E-Bay the ability to teach you how to make ‘the perfect cup of tea’ in your own home. E-Bay tea maker.

Or finally, reassure yourself that your boss could make this page one day. Browse through the samples of real human intelligence at The Bonehead of the Day Award. And don’t forget your daily Dilbert.

Until the next time, if religious people don’t get me.

Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the internet began to make much more sense than theatre.