Emerging elites
The Oom never gets invited to off-the-record briefings at the editorial offices of the ANC Today, so this column is always a little lax on the politics of the week since ANC Today comes out just after the Mail & Guardian‘s deadline. But he would hereby like to bet that this week or next Zwelinzima Vavi will be the party’s next targeted ”elite” who has an anti-transformation agenda because he is part of the forces seeking to unseat that great and good liberation movement, Zanu-PF. Or will he be an ”icon” elevated by the ”elite”? Watch this space.
Empowerment A-Z
The Oom’s also tickled pink to see the pot calling the kettle black. When visiting Luthuli House the other day (being welcome at some offices there, still), he spied with his little eye an alphabet soup of fancy sedans, from A (Audi) to Z (Z4), in the parking lot.
People identical to ourselves
Pamela Jooste’s lawyer says her lifting of large chunks of a Sunday Times article for her novel People Like Ourselves was ”wallpapering of a very minor nature”. Obviously he’s never done any wallpapering himself, or he wouldn’t say such damn fool things: Vrot Snoek still has glue in his hair after eight months. But wireless talker Jennifer Crwys-Williams, who is a judge of the Sunday Times Fiction Award, left Lemmer speechless after springing to the defence of Jooste (or is that Used-her?) in the same newspaper. ”My response would be that Pamela Jooste is a very fine writer. I don’t think she would knowingly plagiarise anything at all.” So much for the Sunday Times Fiction Award: surely the definition of a ”very fine writer” is one who knows exactly where every scrap of prose in his or her work comes from and what it’s doing there?
Keep it brief
Having followed the sexploits of advocate Barbie with an interest bordering on inappropriateness, the manne were beside themselves with anticipation. ”Barbie will now be briefing herself”, read the Saturday Star headline, leaving the okes to jealous speculation. Who would be debriefing her? And would there be live streaming video of the event available on the Internet?
Love is in the air
When the moon hits your eye like a large pizza pie, that’s amore. Of course, when a chirp hits your ear like a small hissy sneer, that’s Amor. Or at least, that’s what Patricia Lewis will tell you. Amor Vittone and Lewis have been swinging fake Gucci handbags at each other for months, arguing over who has the least unimportant career. But that’s in the past; and the manne were off again, staring at the Beeld banner that declared ”Amor, Lewis maak vrede”. How did they make up? Was there a kiss involved? Again, any point in going online, perhaps with a credit card? Jislaaik, ouens …
Grass roots support>
When Caroline Southey resigned as editor of the Financial Mail in October last year, she said she was jumping ship for the sake of transformation, and clearly the FM and Johnnic have since performed miracles of reconciliation. This FM reader was spotted outside Johnnic HQ, bearing a placard that read, ”Yes Sir! BDFM Board, reinstate Mrs Southey with immediate effect in her former post, provide her with counselling to help to come over the trauma of losing her soul mate and position and give a year to prepare for the vacation.”
Pen Idle
Oom Krisjan fears that if the Mail & Guardian doesn’t give its columnists a hefty raise, they might all scarper across to the Cape Argus. Under the headline ”You could be the new Cape Argus pen idol!”, the Visdorp’s rag made it quite clear that it is launching a serious head-hunting bid for Robert Kirby, John Matshikiza, Richard Calland et al. ”Are you young and fun? Do you lead a hectic life full of partying? Do you have strong, punchy views on the news?” Three out of three so far. ”And, finally, can you string a sentence together?” Given this degree of journalistic integrity and rigour, who could resist the lure of becoming a pen idol?
Less than brillaint
Lemmer’s grip on English spelling has never been exceptionally tight, but even he did a double take at The Sowetan‘s gargantuan headline last Friday. ”Hero or villian?” it asked, making Oom Krisjan wonder if it was referring to the sub-editor responsible.
Disturbing the peace
Tjopper Nel, Dorsbult’s chief of police, was suffering preemptive pangs of homesickness this week as he learned from City Press that the police service is going to establish a regional base in Darfur, staffed by 100 officers, as a nod to African peacekeeping. Tjopper wanted to know if Darfur (or ”daar voor” as he calls it) is further away than Windhoek, and we said thank God, yes. But we couldn’t bring ourselves to tell him that the domestic disputes he’s likely to face will involve anti-aircraft artillery mounted on Isuzu bakkies. Still, it’s good to know we’ve got enough police on the streets that we can spare 100 of their best.
Readers wishing to alert Oom Krisjan to matters of national or lesser importance can do so at [email protected]