M J Lee finally gives in to the computer age
Some of us arrive later at modern technology than others. The elderly, familiar word-processor had just declared terminal illness, work was piling up all around, and there was no escape. I had to take that fateful step into the computer age.
So here I was, a teacher for over 30 years, capable of handling a class of adolescents, confident in front of a choir of 80 juniors – cowed! Here it was, glaring balefully at me from the desktop. Capable of e-mail and with the ability to surf the net. For one whose swimming prowess is limited to the shallow end of a pool, the word “surf” is not encouraging. It could manage my budget and type my letters? And where were we? Looking antagonistically at each other, while a little Gepetto-like character in the corner of the screen scratched his beard and shook his head.
Frantic circlings with a mouse (I normally set traps for them!) gave no help. At last, a light bulb over Gepetto promised the answer. Firm pressure on the mouse took it skating off the screen, and Gepetto shook his head again. In thoroughly childish fashion, I was tempted to put my tongue out at him. But I might yet need Gepetto. There is a manual provided, but a search of the first page brings such delights as “the difference between a task and a program.”
That’s easy. My task is to get into the action, but it looks like a long-term programme.
Nevertheless, defeat is unthinkable. After all, I can drive a car … but it doesn’t shake its head at you. I can work a microwave oven … but it only beeps in a very polite fashion when its task is complete, not when it thinks you have made an error. True, but this is of no avail when it is just IT and me.
I am condemned to an age of technological wizardry and Gepetto. Possibly he is essentially well meaning, but it is hard to communicate with someone when you cannot even shake his hand. A firm grasp of a mouse in a sweaty paw, and away we go again. Gepetto’s light bulb is flashing frantically, so maybe he really has something to say this time. Yes he does. “You cannot create a template before going to the end of the document.” I know about templates – you use them in patchwork. Maybe Gepetto is getting personal enough to suggest that housewifely skills might be a better option to pursue. Quite right. It’s teatime. And, after all, I know how to switch on a kettle, don’t I? I wonder whether Gepetto prefers tea or coffee?
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– The Teacher/M&G Media, Johannesburg, August 2001.