Playing in the stadium of his club side Marseille in 1998, South Africa’s lanky centre-half Pierre Issa put the ball in his own net twice against France and then muffed his team’s only clear-cut opening at the other end. World Cups have their zeros as well as heroes. Harry Pearson picks his XI to get nowhere.
René Higuita
Colombia, 1990
As if looking like the fourth member of Shalamar wasn’t enough to get him noticed, keeper Higuita attempted to prove his ”El Loco” credentials still further by dribbling round the 38-year-old Cameroonian Roger Milla. The elderly striker took the ball off him embarrassingly easily and scored the winner.
Marcel Desailly
France, 2002
Well past his best — but that did not stop the defender nonchalantly saying: ”My friends are coming over to Korea and Japan after the group stages, but my family are not planning a visit until the week before the final.” He got to spend even more time with them after France failed to make it out of the group.
Jock Coll
United States, 1930
US trainer Coll ran on in protest during his team’s semifinal against Argentina. After remonstrating with the referee about Argentina’s brutal tactics, Coll threw down his medical bag. A bottle of chloroform inside it broke, the fumes engulfed him, he fainted and had to be carried off on a stretcher.
Steffen Effenberg
Germany, 1994
Notoriously narky midfield playmaker got sent home for giving a stiff-fingered salute to fans who had barracked Germany during a feeble 3-2 win over South Korea. The gesture became known as an ”Effie” in Germany and he took early retirement from internationals to concentrate on offending at club level.
Diana Ross
United States, 1994
Presented with a dead ball and an open goal at the climax of the opening ceremony in Chicago, the veteran singer blasted wide, causing some to suggest that the maniacally grinning figure burbling on about a chain reaction was not the Motown star at all but Ronnie Rosenthal in drag.
Claudio Caniggia
Argentina, 2002
The girlish striker had missed the 1990 final after a yellow card for a pointless hand-ball against Italy in the semis, but here he surpassed even this act of craziness. Confined to the bench he managed to get sent off without bothering to come on by yelling abuse at referee Ali Bujsaim during the match against Sweden.
Mwepu Ilunga
Zaire, 1974
Two-nil down to Brazil having already been tonked 9-0 by Yugoslavia, Zaire were feeling the pressure. When Brazil were awarded a free-kick just outside the Africans’ penalty area, the 24-year-old right-back waited until the ref blew his whistle and then sprinted out of the wall and booted the ball into touch.
Pierre Issa
South Africa, 1998
Playing in the stadium of his club side Marseille, the lanky centre-half put the ball in his own net twice against France and then muffed his team’s only clear-cut opening at the other end. He became the subject of a popular joke by South African school kids: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Issa. Issa who? Issa goal!
Ray Wilkins
England, 1986
The experienced and legendarily dull midfielder managed to get himself sent off in England’s 0-0 draw with Morocco when he threw the ball at the ref in disgust after a free-kick was awarded against his side. Believed by many to be the only time he propelled the ball forward during his England career.
Rajko Mitic
Yugoslavia, 1950
The forward banged his head on a roof beam while walking from the dressing room to the pitch before Yugoslavia’s crucial group game with Brazil and required stitches. His team started without their best player and were 1-0 down when he emerged with his pate swathed in bandages. Brazil won 2-0.
Viorel Moldovan
Romania, 1998
The striker is thought to have inspired his team’s bizarre collective decision to bleach their hair blond. Originally believed to have been done ”for a bet”, the mass dyeing was in reality an attempt to break a jinx apparently placed on the team by a senior figure in the Romanian Orthodox Church. No, really. — Â