In his book Enough: True Measures of Money, Business and Life, author John C Bogle writes of a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island. Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 in its whole history. Heller responded: “Yes, but I have something he will never have — enough.”
What does it mean to have “enough”? Financial coach Linda Smith says a client of hers, Michael, earns a good salary, but he is constantly fearful of not having enough money to cover his living expenses now and in the future. He believes that he will not be able to relax and enjoy life until he has “enough”. But what defines it? And will it be “enough” when the time comes?
Linda says she often asks her clients what figure would define “enough” for them. “Some come up with R5-million, some with R10-million,” says Linda. “And even then, they doubt if that will be enough for everything they want.”
Of course, when they start to think about what they want, they revise their figures once again.
In fact, says Linda, they will never have “enough”. So the trick is to realise that one does actually have “enough” and should not continue to move the goalposts in one’s life towards some unrealistic future perfection.
“There is nothing wrong with settling goals and aiming for targets,” says Linda. “The problem is when you beat yourself up about not having something and failing to appreciate what you do have.”
In Michael’s case, he is both unable to appreciate what he has — a wife and two children, a house, a car, a good job — and unable to relax and enjoy his hard-earned gains, checking his bank account almost daily, feeling resentful of any extra expenses that come his way. For example, he began to feel resentful that he now has to pay to take care of his elderly mother. But Linda points out that he is fortunate to be able to do this in the first place — many people cannot meet extra expenses of this nature.
How, then, to help Michael feel differently about what he does and doesn’t have?
The gratitude factor
Few of us feel satisfied with what we have. Sometimes we feel a good job, a car, a house and an end-of-year family holiday are basics that we can take for granted. But if we were to lose these things, we would quickly realise their value.
It is difficult to accept that our needs are really rather simple as we live in a society of rampant consumerism, where we are often judged by what we own — particularly if it’s the latest model (or not, as the case may be). But Linda maintains that the more you earn, the bigger your life becomes — as soon as you can afford two cars, you will probably buy them, rather than accepting that one is enough for your family’s needs.
“According to the Pirkei Avot, a compilation of ethical teachings by Rabbis of the Mishnaic period, one who is wealthy is one who is happy with what he has,” says Linda. “This is a mindset to cultivate and it is important to be grateful for what you have. For example, if you like fine wine and you buy three bottles, rather than one, consider this — if someone gave you a bottle of wine as a gift, would you say, ‘What? Only one bottle?’ You would have to be extremely churlish and ungrateful to say that to someone else, so why do you feel you have to overdo the spending when you give to yourself?”
Treating yourself is okay
Linda explains that we often fall into the habit of “blowing the budget” on luxury items we don’t really need, but convince ourselves we want. We immediately feel guilty and berate ourselves for treating ourselves.
Linda says that deprivation is not wise — but we should rather budget for an item, then “reward” ourselves with it. In this way, we are planning to spend some hard-earned money on a treat without feeling it’s a desperate act of purchase that’s in some way compromising our financial acumen.
“Say, ‘I would like to spend R300 on wine this month’, then empower yourself to purchase this for yourself,” says Linda. “Make sure you set aside money that is not required for something essential. In this way, you have established that you have enough, and you also have something for a little extra.”
Learning to trust
Linda points to an article in a magazine from the 1970s, in which a woman wrote to complain she could not feed a family of four on R170 a month. “This could be R5 000 or even R10 000 today,” says Linda. “The point is, we are having the same conversation our parents had years ago — and they managed to come out. Similarly, we must trust that we, too, will be ‘okay’ and we will have enough for our needs.
Situations don’t change that much, but it comes down to being mindful of what we do have, in the now, and acknowledging that it is ‘enough’. Similarly, when you elect to save 10%, you need to trust that the remaining 90% will be ‘enough’ to live on. Provided you are not in debt, you will find that the money will stretch far enough.”
Tips
Linda offered the following tips to Michael:
- “Stand in trust” when you deal with money. Trust that you have “enough” for your needs and do not live with fear and anxiety.
- Do not deprive yourself — just make sure you budget for a luxury item and then accept that one item is enough. Michael doesn’t need three Puma shirts — one will do.
- If you do fall into debt, embrace it, don’t run away from it. Work out how to pay it off, then start again. People have come back from bankruptcy and now have enough money to enable them to live well.
- Life is not a “zero-sum-game” of winners and losers — you do not have to have R10-million to “win”. Such a mind-set is self-defeating.
- Finally, have your money work for you. Stick to your budget and assess how you could plan better. Then practice gratitude for what you can afford and for what you already own. If you have savings, be grateful that you have those. Until you can appreciate what you have, you really will never have “enough”.
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