When, back in the Fifties, Marilyn Monroe was prospected as a possible wife for Prince Rainier of Monaco, she blew the interview almost at once by asking: “Where’s Monaco?”
Charlene Wittstock, who is to marry Prince Albert on July 2, is presumably rather better informed.
After all, she first met her future husband a decade ago when she took part in a swimming competition in the principality and she’s been something of a fixture on the local scene for years.
And yet, Monaco must remain a rather strange place for the girl from Bulawayo and Benoni.
This Mediterranean microstate — it’s about half the size of Robben Island — rarely gets the attention of the South African media.
From the international press Wittstock may have picked up on her new homeland’s dual reputation.
On the one hand, it’s often portrayed as a romantic venue for the rich and famous, still trading on the afterglow of Grace Kelly’s marriage to Prince Rainier.
In other sources, it emerges as a haven for tax dodgers, money launderers and Italian and Russian mafiosi.
The Monaco public relations machine’s habit of reacting to negative coverage with evasion and obfuscation makes it hard to tell truth from rumour.
A new life
Certainly, in one sense, Wittstock is making a good marriage.
Prince Albert, according to a recent Forbes Royal Rich List, has a personal net worth of more than €750-million, which is twice that of the queen of England. She will live in a palace overlooking the sea, with the Grimaldi realm spread below.
After the natural beauty of South Africa, she is unlikely to find her new neighbourhood visually attractive.
Prince Rainier, in his zeal to modernise, tore down much of the principality’s traditional architecture, replacing it with apartments and office blocks.
As a wealthy Dutch resident put it recently: “Okay, it’s an ugly town, but it’s very safe.” As you would expect with one police officer for every 68 inhabitants.
The authorities like to know what’s going on, so private telephone lines are routinely monitored and the police are assisted by a network of informers.
Monaco residents
What sort of people will Charlene Wittstock live among? Only about one-fifth of the principality’s 33 000 inhabitants are pure-blood Monégasques, forming a clannish group, for the most part fiercely loyal to the ruling family.
The majority of residents are wealthy foreigners who chose to live in Monaco because it imposes no personal taxes. Some of the men work, but many endure lives of tax-free boredom, their major activities squinting at financial screens and frowning over the Financial Times and the Wall Street Journal. Their women have even less to occupy their time.
Already, before her palace minders told her to watch her words, Wittstock admitted in an interview that she was aware of rivalries and jealousies and that “there are only two people that I consider friends here”. Inevitably, she will be the subject of gossip.
Her mother, Lynette, recalled that, back home, she was “rarely out of a tracksuit”. Her clothes will now be given continuous and merciless scrutiny.
Charlene’s role
So what of life at the palace? Luckily, Wittstock seems to share more interests with Albert than Grace did with Rainier, especially sport (“I’ve introduced him to cricket … He loves it”).
However, the Grimaldi’s court is notoriously strife-ridden and the princess will have to negotiate a delicate relationship with her sister-in-law, Caroline, who, while Albert remained unmarried, was for several years effectively first lady.
And a strong influence over her husband’s decisions would be resented by many, although she has already persuaded him to clean up Monaco’s zoo, described by wildlife campaigner Virginia McKenna after a visit as “a slum zoo that should be closed down”.
She will accompany her husband to the International Olympic Committee meeting in Durban just a week after their wedding in July, but it may not always be convenient for her to join him on his extensive trips. Home alone, she may quickly become bored, as Grace did.
The latter sought refuge in Paris and lived a discreet life of her own. With today’s more predatory media, that’s not an option for Wittstock.
She has to look forward to a round of dreary ceremonial duties and, when Albert’s away, largely unrelieved loneliness.
She can’t even seek the comfort of a skinny caramel latte. She’s confessed disappointment that Monaco doesn’t have a Starbucks and is unconsoled by the knowledge that she has a choice of 41 banks.